Without "The Nutcracker," New York has a little less sparkle this Christmas

MARTINA FRANCA, Italy — For the first time in 50 years, the lights will go dim at Lincoln Center. There will be no sugar plum fairy to welcome Clara. No children emerging from under Mother Ginger’s dress. And no dancing candy canes.

In June we learned that not only would "The Nutcracker" not be performed this year due to the coronavirus pandemic, but also that the 2020 New York City Ballet season would be canceled. Though it was the best decision for public safety, it brought me such sorrow. I could not imagine a year without "The Nutcracker."

I first saw the New York City Ballet’s production of Tchaikovsky’s "The Nutcracker" when I was 4 four years old.

I still remember feeling such a thrill coming into Lincoln Center for the first time. It felt larger than life. I admired the plush red velvet curtains, the grand staircase that led to the orchestra seats and stood in awe of how beautiful the theater was. I could sense the excitement of all those around me; young and old alike. I loved hearing the murmur of the thousands of audience members eagerly waiting for the ballet to begin.

The lights slowly dimmed, and the orchestra played the first notes of the overture as the curtain rose to reveal a backdrop with a painted fairy holding a wand overlooking a valley of houses covered with snow. I was immediately enthralled.

The music was hypnotizing; the sets, spectacular; the costumes, beautiful; and the dancing. Oh, the dancing. The dancers moved so beautifully; it was hard to believe they were real. I sat perfectly still through the whole first act, mesmerized.

During intermission, a woman next to us began speaking to my mother and praised her for how well behaved I was. It so happened her daughter was in the ballet as one of the angels and she asked us whether we would like to go backstage after the show.

Once backstage, some of the little ballerinas played with my hair. I got to see the three large gift boxes that Uncle Drosselmeyer presents Clara with at the party in Act One. Some of the dancers even gathered a bunch of the paper snowflakes used during the famous last scene of act one to give me as a gift.

Our family of four made an annual pilgrimage to "The Nutcracker" for the next 20 years. It became a beloved tradition, one that we always looked forward to. It wasn’t Christmas in our house until we received our tickets. We got all dressed up, my father and brother in their best suits, my mother in her finest jewelry and myself, usually favoring black velvet dresses. We drove into Manhattan from Forest Hills, through the Midtown Tunnel and always started the evening with dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant before heading over to Lincoln Center. We continued to see "The Nutcracker" every year as a family up until I decided to move to Italy at the age of 24.

I grew up with "The Nutcracker." It saw me go from a little girl to a preteen to a high school theater major to a full-grown adult studying opera. It saw me through multiple phases and major changes of my life, through good times and bad times. I can honestly say that even now at 31, seeing "The Nutcracker" every Christmas has remained one of my most treasured memories. It makes me think of my family, and nothing makes me happier than my family and all those wonderful times we shared together at the ballet.

The loss of "The Nutcracker" is so much more than a personal loss for fans like myself. Besides the dancers who will not grace the stage, think of those who will be out of work; stage managers, hairdressers, makeup artists, janitors, musicians, ushers, box office attendants, bartenders and security personnel. This is also a great economic loss for the city, as the ballet attracts tourists from all around the world.

"The Nutcracker" was a family affair on and off the stage. Production staff that worked on "The Nutcracker" for decades came to look at that production as a return to home. Many of the children who grew up on set and danced in the land of sweets danced their way into full time dance careers with the New York City Ballet. When you think of Christmas in New York, you think of the towering tree at Rockefeller Center, the high kicking Radio City Rockettes and the grace and beauty of "The Nutcracker." Christmas in New York this year will have a little less sparkle.

I now live in Italy with my family, including my 2-year-old daughter. When she turns four, I would love to return to NYC and introduce her to the ballet that brought such happiness into my life. Oh, those snowflakes that the dancers gathered for me? I still have them safely stored in a zip lock bag taped to the playbill of that performance.

Caroline Chirichella is a former New Yorker now living and working in Italy as a chef and freelance writer.