Komisarjevsky: Why online 'friends' matter

The recent news that some employers have demanded that job applicants supply their Facebook passwords has caused a firestorm among those who advocate for the rights and privacy of individuals. To be sure, the practice is alarming. But the debate, in part, misses the point.

Privacy, of course, should trump forcing anyone to give a password to an employer who wants access to a social media site to check on a prospective or current employee. And you have to ask why an employer would need access to social media sites, anyway.

Hiring decisions have always been made without it. Over the years as a communications executive, I've hired plenty of people and, like other employers I know, my batting average has been about .666 -- about two out of three hires turn out to be the right ones. That's pretty good. Do employers seriously think that access to Facebook would improve that?

Whether you're a job applicant or an employer, it will always be your reputation that matters most. What we say, what we do, whom we gather around us as "friends" -- ultimately, our behavior both off- and online creates the perceptions others have about us. And after all, perception is reality, as the saying goes.

The Facebook-employer discussion also drives home once again that social media are a double-edged sword.

On the one hand, networking sites and services are powerful forms of communication, creating untold opportunities for individuals and organizations to reach out in personal ways to people they otherwise would never get to know, let alone engage.

As Alberto Ibargüen, president and chief executive of the Knight Foundation -- an organization whose fundamental belief is that "democracy thrives when people and communities are informed and engaged" -- says: "Trust is precisely the key element in the rise of social media. We look for something that feels somehow more authentic, more real, and find it in the people we know."

But regardless of what we might think or be led to believe, social media really aren't totally private. That's not their purpose, and to think otherwise is foolish. Isn't that why we caution our children about the photos and words they post, and the connections they make online?

If you really care about your reputation, there should be no difference between how you project yourself online -- in a supposedly password-protected social media site -- and the reputation you project through your professional resume or day-to-day interaction with others in public. They should be one and the same. Simply put, we should be true to what we say and surround ourselves with people who, regardless of background, share similar core values of integrity and doing what's right.

At least that's the way I see it. Maybe I'm old-fashioned. In my own quest for Twitter followers, for example, my first reaction is one of appreciation when I find that someone new is "following" me -- but I've had some surprises. When I check out some followers' profiles, I block them. What they say, their URL link, or their photo or illustration isn't something I would be proud of . . . so why permit it on my own Twitter account?

A rather simple view? Yes. But reputation is precious. After all, don't we tell our kids what our parents told us? "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are."

Chris Komisarjevsky of Atlantic Beach is a retired chief executive of Burson-Marsteller, a public relations firm, and the author of "The Power of Reputation: Strengthen the Asset That Will Make or Break Your Career."