Musings: Sigh. Will the mystery patient sign in, please?

I was at my surgeon’s office for a post-op appointment. At the front desk, I spotted three “assistants” off in the distance in the records area. One poked her head toward me and asked, “Can I help you?” I gave her the surgeon’s name, my name and the appointment time. She waved her hand dismissively and said, “You have to sign in yourself now.” I saw the sign-in kiosk.

An older woman was at the next kiosk adjacent to mine, already banging the screen, swearing, with beads of perspiration on her forehead and a face so red I am sure we share the same high blood pressure medicine.

I’ve never done well with these technical things myself. I am one of those “computer-challenged” folks. My eyesight is no longer sharp, and my hands are riddled with arthritis.

Poking a stylus at the screen or clicking on letters never ends well for me. Meanwhile, two lines of patients started forming behind each of us — and this is supposed to “streamline” signing in? How?

I told the assistants what I tell all of these medical practices I go to: “I am not an employee of this practice. That is your job. You are being paid, not me.”

What do they have planned next? I’ll take my own blood?

I made a brave attempt at following the screen instructions and answering the many inane, useless questions that did not apply to me. I threw in the towel when I was asked, “Do you suffer from black lung disease?” My answer would be a hard “no” because, as far as I know, there are no coal mines on my block. I walked out.

Signing in should be a patient option, not a requirement.

— Dee Palser, Valley Stream