'I simply cannot be in two places at once'
Dr. McNally at work. Credit: Katz Institute for Women’s Health
Stephanie Trentacoste McNally, MD, FACOG, FACS, MSCP, is the medical director of the Katz Institute for Women's Health, an associate professor at Hofstra University's Zucker School of Medicine and panelist at Newsday's Working Moms Summit on June 3, 2026. Visit newsday.com/workingmom for more essays and resources for LI's community of working moms.
The hardest days of motherhood for me are not based on one frustrating moment, but realizing and understanding that I simply cannot be in two places at once.
As a physician, I may be navigating a complex patient diagnosis while my phone buzzes with texts from my children — reminders of a school pick up, added practices, or that they are hungry. The guilt of not being "100% present" in every arena -- the physician who needs to close her charts, the parent with an empty fridge, the professional who missed the school reminder for “wear your favorite sports team jersey” -- used to feel like a personal failure.
However, these moments of juggling have taught me an important lesson: Perfection is not the gold standard. Instead, I focus on impact and influence.
I’ve learned that it is okay to choose one thing to do exceptionally well each day and give myself grace on the rest. Growth came from the courage to say "no" to some things and "yes" to the intentional ones.
To all the guilty moms, I offer this: Trust the evidence over your guilt.
Research consistently shows that children of working mothers often have excellent developmental outcomes, frequently demonstrating increased independence and strong professional aspirations.
You aren't just "working." You are modeling resilience, intellectual curiosity, and the reality that a woman can be many things at once. By letting go of the need to be everything to everyone, you aren't doing less, you’re showing your children how to live a full, authentic life.
And you should also make sure you don’t lose yourself in all of this.
Stephanie Trentacoste McNally, MD, FACOG, FACS, MSCP, is the medical director of the Katz Institute for Women's Health and an associate professor at Hofstra University's Zucker School of Medicine. She is a panelist at Newsday's upcoming Working Moms Summit on June 3, 2026.
