Pettitte his own worst critic after loss

ANAHEIM, Calif.

-- Joe Girardi thought Andy Pettitte pitched better than his final line indicated and, besides, the lefthander received almost no help from his offense.

The 39-year-old was having none of it.

"It's a loss, a loss is frustrating," Pettitte said of his Tuesday outing, during which he allowed five runs and nine hits in seven innings of the Yankees' 5-1 defeat to the Angels. "I'm not happy with it. I can, I guess, be happy with saying I kept the bullpen out of the game for the most part. I was at least able to go deep. But I have to get better. That's all there is to it."

If his previous two starts, in which he allowed a total of two runs in 15 innings, were vintage Pettitte, so too was the pitcher's reaction Tuesday.

Pettitte always has been his worst critic, rarely satisfied even in victory.

In defeat -- even a 2-1 or 1-0 loss in which he receives nothing but plaudits -- there is no silver lining. So there was no chance he'd find one in Tuesday's defeat.

"You've got to keep them off the board, got to keep them off the board and let our guys score first," Pettitte said. "That's what I always try to do and I hate I wasn't able to do that."

Pettitte (2-2 3.49 ERA) was most disappointed in his cutter, a pitch that until Tuesday had worked well for him.

"My cutter wasn't as sharp as it has been, I felt like kind of forcing it a little bit," he said. "So when you're out there and you're throwing it, you're trying to make the adjustments and trying not to force it. There's a big difference between forcing it and hanging it."

He believes that burned him on the two home runs he allowed: one to the red-hot Albert Pujols and one to the almost-as-hot Mark Trumbo.

"I jammed him his first at- bat," Pettitte said of Pujols, who grounded out in the first before homering on a 1-and-0 pitch in the third. "I left the ball inner half. He's not going to want to get jammed again. It's just a stupid pitch by me.''

Of the 1-and-1 cutter Trumbo hit out in the sixth, Pettitte was more economical in his words.

"A horrible pitch," he said.

The home runs have been particularly galling for Pettitte, who has allowed six in his four starts. (Pettitte hasn't been alone in that regard. Entering Wednesday night, Yankees starters had allowed an American League-high 53 home runs.)

"You kind of pride yourself on keeping the ball in the yard and I keep giving up home runs," he said. "That's frustrating.''

On Monday, Pettitte said he wasn't pleased with his focus at times in his previous three starts, something he needed to improve on.

He didn't think it improved Tuesday.

"Sometimes you just throw a ball and you're not quite thinking the process out, hence the ball to Pujols," said Pettitte, who seemed to get more disgusted as he spoke. "You have to set up your pitches, you have to throw pitches with a purpose to be able to get guys out. I hate to sit here and tell you and tell the world how I like to get hitters out, I hate to do that. It's pitching and I can do a better job of it right now."