The Bottom Four: The wrong Cam, Barden's potential, refs help Nicks

It’s a short week, so we give a short list.

Normally, in the hours leading up to a game, we’ll provide a list of the Bottom Five Things to Look For. But if offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride can skirt his responsibilities to meet with the media and feel the heat from a game in which his unit compiled only 41 points and 610 yards, well, I can cut a few corners myself.

So here, then, is the Week 3 Bottom Four Things to Look For. Consider the fifth a casualty of the schedule. Like Hakeem Nicks.

As you know, there are plenty of places where you can find the most important and significant keys to the upcoming game. Stopping the run, getting to the quarterback, etc. They’re basically the same every week. What changes the most is the game keys at the bottom of the list. And that’s where we step in, to give you the deepest insight on the web.

So here it is, the Bottom Four for Week 3:

4. The Giants are shocked to see a 6-5, 245-pound quarterback when they take the field for the game against the Panthers. Turns out the Cam they’d been watching all that film on during the week was the chunky gay dad from “Modern Family.” They're more devestated that Sofia Vergara is not on the team, though.

3. Ramses Barden has one catch for 8 yards in his first NFL start. Ramses Barden’s potential, however, has 7 catches for 116 and a touchdown. His potential is also fined for excessive celebration after the score. Note: It is not the first start of his potential’s career.

2. The Giants run 85 percent of their snaps from the victory formation. The confused Panthers don’t know how to defend it. They’d like to attack, but Ron Rivera fears the wrath of Tom Coughlin.

1. The replacement officials take so long to get the calls right and disrupt the flow of the competition that the game drags on into Sunday, by which time Hakeem Nicks is healthy enough to play in the fourth quarter and catch the game-winning touchdown.