Help Wanted: Help ex-boss on reference

DEAR CARRIE: I lost my job in May at a small company. My boss told me he was laying me off because the company lost a large client. And he told me that if I needed a reference I could ask potential employers to call him. I've been on dozens of interviews, and each time I have given interviewers his name and number. They have called, but not once has he returned their calls.

I have no clue why. He does answer e-mails, though, as I e-mailed him to ask why he hasn't returned those important phone calls. Instead of explaining, he e-mailed me a letter of recommendation, saying that I was laid off because my position was dissolved and that I was a good, conscientious worker. But isn't he supposed to return calls if a potential employer calls him?

What am I supposed to do when he doesn't return the calls? I am having the same problem with another company where I worked for 16 years. I left there in 2000. Any advice you can give me would be great. I can't get a job without these references.
-- Vanishing References

 DEAR VANISHING: The president of the Five O'Clock Club, a Manhattan career-services firm, suggests that you put yourself in your former bosses' shoes, beginning with the most recent one. Believe it or not, you could be asking too much of him.

"He may be depressed about what is happening in his company, and he did the best he could by you," Kate Wendleton said. "You are so fortunate that he wrote that letter of reference for you. Now simply manage the expectations of those you are interviewing with. Tell them his situation -- he is very pressed for time and does not give verbal references because he is trying to keep his head above water."

She noted it's important that you not take it personally that he has failed to return those calls.

"It is not a reflection on you," Wendleton said. "That's why he wrote you a letter of reference."

She stresses that a written reference could be more valuable than you know. Her firm even recommends that seasoned professionals obtain one.

"While a letter of reference may not be considered as good as a reference done via phone . . . enthusiastic praise captured forever in a letter can be valuable," Wendleton said.

And with a letter of reference in hand, you don't have to worry about tracking down the manager who wrote it if that person leaves the company.

"In this day of revolving bosses, most people cannot track down their former bosses to use as a reference," she said. "After all, the average American has been in his or her job only four years."

On that note, you can make it even easier for former bosses to provide you with a written reference, something they would appreciate because they often have to juggle many such requests.

"You can only imagine how many references people are asked for, and the managers can barely think about what they should say," she said.

So make the manager's job easier by putting in a little effort yourself ahead of time.

"I often ask employees to give me a draft when they want a reference from me," Wendleton said. "Then I know what aspects of their personalities and their jobs they want to have emphasized. They are also reminding me of what they have done. If I'm trying to help them, the last thing I need is someone complaining that I left out an important project he or she worked on."

So if you want a reference from your other boss, volunteer to write a draft.

"You'll see how difficult it is to do," Wendleton said. For more on career strategies click here to go to www.fiveoclockclub.com or click here to visit www.epadvisorsinc.com.