Take action when faced with a bullying boss

DEAR CARRIE: I was recently terminated from a job because I could no longer handle the constant mental abuse from my manager. The individual made me feel inferior and physically ill. Eventually matters got worse because that manager conspired with the human resources manager to harass me. Because of them, I was brought before four senior executives and crossed-examined as if I had committed a crime. I was later fired. The working people of this country need to be protected from people who think they are superior to the rest of us.

My experience was so bad that I still can't function without medication. I also had to seek mental-health counseling.

As far as I know, my former employer never disciplined the manager. But I want to hold that manager accountable. I compiled a 36-page document detailing my misery at work. I have also hired an attorney and filed a complaint with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and am awaiting a decision. What recourse do I have to hold the manager accountable in the meantime? -- Workplace Wreck

DEAR WORKPLACE: While you await a decision from the EEOC you should focus on how you will handle similar situations going forward.

What you described sounds like bullying, and you may experience it on the job again. More than 25 percent of workers have experienced abusive conduct at work, according to a survey released earlier this year by the Bellingham, Washington-based Workplace Bullying Institute. That survey also found that the majority of bullies are bosses.

So what can you do differently the next time?

"From the very beginning of a situation like this, it's important for an employee to take charge," said Rita Maniscalco, a Huntington career, life and business coach.

As part of a take-charge approach, she said you should speak with any future problematic managers right away to get a clear idea about the nature of his or her problem with you.

Some probing questions to consider are: is it about job performance, attitude or something else?

"The employee should ask for whatever she needs to correct the situation: more training, better tools, coaching," said Maniscalco, who stressed that you should keep a record of your encounters. "If the manager continues to berate the employee, the employee needs to go through the proper channels to report the manager."

If the problem persists, you may have to ask yourself some tough questions.

"If that does not produce a change in the manager's behavior, the employee is left with a decision," she said. "Do I allow myself to continue to be treated this way, do I put even more time/energy into seeking justice or do I look for another job?"

But she stressed that it's always important to leave before a difficult situation takes a toll on your health, no matter how difficult that step is.

"There will be many feelings to sort through, including the horrible feeling that the manager and others involved have gotten away with the mistreatment," she said. "Working through this with a competent therapist or clergy member will help the employee understand why he allowed himself to be treated this way, and offer an opportunity to explore alternative ways of handling mistreatment in the future."

You didn't say what kind of complaint you filed with the EEOC. The agency enforces anti-discrimination laws in the workplace to prevent bias on the basis of such things as age, race, gender or disability. Unless factors like that are involved, you worked for a jerk whose actions were unprofessional and harmful, but probably legal.