'Mean Girls' review: Newest version doesn't quite make fetch happen

Cady, Regina, Glen Coco, the speeding bus and one order of cheese fries — they’re all present and accounted for in the new musical version of “Mean Girls.”

There aren’t many substantive differences between the now-classic teen film from 2004 and this new iteration, adapted from the short-lived Broadway play (all written by Tina Fey). “Mean Girls” has been updated with some glancing references to smartphones and social media, but the story — about the emotional cruelty of adolescent females — remains intact, along with nearly every iconic moment and catchphrase. This “Mean Girls” will rise or fall on its (almost) all-new cast and roughly a dozen musical numbers, written by Fey’s longtime partner-collaborator, Jeff Richmond, and lyricist Nell Benjamin.

The result: a mixed bag. Angourie Rice plays our home-schooled hero, Cady, ably enough but without the chipper charm that Lindsay Lohan brought to the role. Auli’i Cravalho and Jaquel Spivey have their moments as Janis and Damian, the school pariahs; Cravalho leads one of the movie’s better numbers, “I’d Rather Be Me,” a rebellious whirl through the conformist halls of North Shore High School. Avantika,, replacing Amanda Seyfried as Karen, goes beyond airhead and into helium territory, while Bebe Wood is endearing as Gretchen, a natural-born punching bag; she delivers a wistful song called “What’s Wrong With Me?” Fey and Tim Meadows make welcome returns as Ms. Norbury and Mr. Duvall.

The biggest change is Regina, leader of the popular girls known as the Plastics. Originally played by Rachel McAdams as a deceptively willowy beauty, she’s now played by Reneé Rapp (reprising her role from Broadway) as a full-on femme fatale. She first appears in the school cafeteria wearing a black vinyl jacket (and no visible shirt) to belt out “Meet the Plastics” like a lunchroom Debbie Harry. Rapp has a resonant voice and a commanding presence, but she seems awfully grown-up as Regina. This girl’s in high school? She’d look more at home pointing a gun at Humphrey Bogart.

Oh, I almost forgot Aaron (Christopher Briney), the pretty boy who unintentionally sets Cady and Regina against each other. He’s once again a blissful innocent, which is as it should be. One thing “Mean Girls” got right is that boys aren’t always pushing for patriarchy (though it does tend to work well for them).

For Fey, rewriting her own highly quotable movie must have been tough. She keeps most of the best lines intact and tinkers with others, sometimes needlessly Fey misses one opportunity to mint some new slang — doesn’t anyone in this school text? — but she deserves credit for letting Gretchen finally make “fetch” happen in her own way.

Directed by Samantha Jayne and Arturo Perez, Jr., “Mean Girls” has spunk but never leaps off the screen like the original. What makes it work is its 20-year-old story of adolescent friendship, cruelty and forgiveness. That’ll be relevant as long as high schools and teenagers exist.

By Rafer Guzmán

rafer.guzman@newsday.com