'The Meg' review: Jason Statham overmatched by clumsy shark tale

In “The Meg,” Jason Statham plays Jonas Taylor, a rescue diver who once encountered a prehistoric shark that killed two of his buddies. Years later, still racked by guilt, Jonas gets another chance to face the thing — known as Megalodon — when an exploratory submersible disturbs its hiding place beneath the ocean floor.

How old is “The Meg”? The creature is thought to have gone extinct roughly 2 million years ago, but the movie has been in the works for some 20 years, making it ancient by Hollywood standards. In that time, shark movies, once defined by Steven Spielberg’s “Jaws,” went from blockbuster to cliche and finally ended, as all genres must, as parody. (Thank you, “Sharknado.”) At this late date, “The Meg,” based on Steve Alten’s 1997 novel, isn’t sure how seriously you’ll take it, or how seriously it should take itself. The result is a movie that wobbles unsteadily between straight-faced action epic and winking self-mockery.

Neither of those tones is beyond Statham; he’s known for crackling action flicks like “The Transporter,” but he also stole the show in Melissa McCarthy’s comedy “Spy.” It’s too much, though, to ask him to do it all in one go. Statham’s Jonas isn’t just a deep-sea superman, he’s also the shambling drunk with a legendary past, the wounded warrior abandoned by his spouse (Jessica McNamee plays Lori, who happens to be on that submersible), the protective police chief of Amity Island and the finger-wagging Dr. Malcolm of “Jurassic Park.” To do all that with a knowing grin — plus establish a romance with marine biologist Suyin (Li Bingbing) — is beyond any actor’s ability.

It doesn’t help that “The Meg” is so clumsily executed. Directed by Jon Turtletaub (“National Treasure”), “The Meg” includes a few enjoyably kooky moments, as when Jonas virtually water-skis out of the shark’s jaws, but the narrative otherwise moves as slowly as an Apatosaurus. The repetitive screenplay, by Dean Georgaris and others, seems obsessed by the notion of sacrifice: Brave characters are constantly giving up their lives, and the sustained weeping gets tiresome. At least Rainn Wilson, playing a glib adventurer-billionaire named Morris, is on hand to deliver a few welcome quips.

Unsure how to come to a close, “The Meg” goes for dark humor, sending the old shark — with its single visible fin — into China’s tourist-packed Sanya Bay. It doesn’t work, either as gripping suspense or bloody comedy. “The Meg” has a toothy grin, but no bite.