For better or worse, here comes 'The Marriage Ref'

Following the closing ceremony of the Winter Olympics Sunday (about 10:30 p.m.), after 16 days of competition involving figure-skating judges, ski-jumping judges, hockey referees, freestyle-skiing judges and officials of all sorts, NBC has determined that what viewers want to see is more refereeing - this time of marital disputes rather than double-footed quad axels.

But NBC could use a winner right now, and it's betting on a proven champ. Jerry Seinfeld is executive producer of "The Marriage Ref," and it comes from his Columbus 81 Productions, along with Ellen Rakieten Entertainment.

After a half-hour sneak peek Sunday, the show premieres in its regular one-hour slot Thursday at 10 p.m.

The host is comedian Tom Papa, who has long opened for Seinfeld when he does stand-up. Seinfeld and Papa have been pals for about 10 years and got married (not to each other) about the same time, also about 10 years ago.

According to Seinfeld, the idea for the show was born in his New York apartment one evening when he and wife, Jessica, got into an argument.

"I can't even remember what it was," Seinfeld recalls, "but it was one of those where you just know this is going to go on all night. And a friend of hers happened to be there, and the friend got a little uncomfortable and said, 'You know what, maybe I should go.' I said, 'You know what, I'm glad you're here. You stay here. We're each just going to tell you our side of the issue. You decide who's right, who's wrong - binding. We will accept it, whatever you say. And we'll be done with this in five minutes.'

"And that's exactly what we did. So I said my side, and she said her side. I believe I lost, but that's not the point. The point is, it was better because it was over. That's the idea of the show, right? To shorten the fight."

As for calling it "The Marriage Ref," Seinfeld says, "We're going to make a call in favor of the husband or the wife, very similar to the way it's done in sports, because we felt the sports simplicity is what's missing in marriage."

Like every other marriage

During the early days of their respective marriages, says Papa, he and Seinfeld discovered that their unions weren't exactly special little snowflakes.

"We'd never been through marriage before," he says, "and we would ask each other, 'Did your wife ever do this?' The other one would just fall out laughing, because we thought naively that our marriage was completely unique and had its own set of problems. Then we realized, no, we're all exactly the same."

In each episode, candid video is shown of a couple having an argument, very likely an argument they've had many times before. The topics vary, but according to Papa, they won't be the sorts of things that lead to marriage counseling or divorce court.

"We don't want raw," he says. "We don't want hurtful."

As to the subject matter so far, Papa says, "We've had a guy that loved his dog, and it died, and the wife hated the dog. She was so happy to have it gone. Then he stuffed it and wants to display it in their home.

"There was a cigar store Indian that the husband wanted to keep in the foyer, greeting people when they walk in the house. She, of course, wanted it out.

"We have a woman who flosses in bed, and the husband is constantly dodging little flying specks of whatever comes out. . . . When we do that one, it would have to be a really good argument for me not to go with the guy."

Experts would ruin comedy

After the argument is shown, Papa throws it to a rotating panel of actors, comedians and sports stars who weigh in with their opinions.

But there are no experts. You may ask, why not?

"Because experts are helpful," Seinfeld says. "This is a comedy show."

According to Papa, the sneak-preview show features the taxidermied dog and "a guy who wants his wife to have an exercise pole installed in the house. He swears it's an exercise pole. Her argument is, 'We can install it if you're the person using it, because I'll have no part in it.' "

Weighing in are Seinfeld, Alec Baldwin and Kelly Ripa. After they deliver their opinions, Papa makes the final call. The winning spouse then gets a prize, and Papa believes that no prizes will be later hurled in the losing spouse's direction.

"Not one of them hasn't been laughing with us as we make the decision," he says. "They're having a blast."