Here's the hook on Snooki's book
"Jersey Shore" star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi attends a book signing at Barnes & Noble at the Grove to promote her new book "A Shore Thing" in Los Angeles on Jan. 6, 2011. Credit: Getty Images
In her first book, "A Shore Thing," Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi's main character, Gia, hatches a new invention - the tan-tag, a spray tan tattoo. The idea would be a clever one in the real world, but then again it comes from the breakout reality TV star of "Jersey Shore." As fans know, the pint-size, big-haired, pickle-loving party girl has come up with her fair share of funny lines on MTV's highest-rated show.
Polizzi will greet fans Tuesday at a signing of her novel - about Gia's summertime escapades in Seaside Heights, N.J. - at Book Revue in Huntington. If you get to meet her in the flesh, you won't be able to buy a round of shots to break the ice. But you might have enough time to impress her with a Snookism or two from the book, which Polizzi dedicated with a fist pump - literally - "to all my Guidos and Guidettes":
Polizzi has said that Gia is loosely autobiographical. Here, she shares a beauty secret while unpacking at her new Seaside Heights rental: "Gia moved on to the next step - unwrapping not one, not two, but three sets of false eyelashes. She bought lashes in bulk, 100 sets at a time."
At one point, Gia imagines what her dream vows would be like:"The wedding would have a kick- ass hip-hop band and a pickle buffet."
Like Polizzi, Gia can sound a little like Yogi Berra at times:"Gia . . . saw a circle of hippies on the beach. They were huddled together like a family of Ellis Island immigrants just off the Mayflower."
She may able to beat the beat, but Gia's knowledge of art escapes her when explaining to someone about how spray tan lines can be used to create ab definition:Pete: "It's trompe l'oeil for the body!"
Gia: "Huh? . . . Who the hell was Trump Louie? Donald's Italian relative?"
Like Polizzi, Gia makes no apologies:"I like global warming. Longer summers, less clothes."
Guys, you may have to be a juicehead gorilla to impress Polizzi, but apparently what's on top doesn't matter as much:"Bald is beautiful. Look at every guy who walks down the street. Close-crop, buzz cuts and tape-ups, if not clean-shaved."
WHAT Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi will sign copies of "A Shore Thing."
WHEN | WHERE 7 p.m. Tuesday at Book Revue, 313 New York Ave., Huntington
INFO Free, but all books signed must be purchased at Book Revue; if you buy a book at the store in advance, bring your receipt to the event; 631-271-1442, bookrevue.com
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