'Plain Jane' isn't a pretty sight

THE SHOW "Plain Jane"

WHAT IT'S ABOUT In the first episode, Cristen, a music business assistant from Los Angeles, appears in a video, begging to be chosen for a life makeover. Hear her pain: "My wardrobe is a disaster, I'm really bad at hair and makeup. Please . . . help," pleads Cristen - a fresh-faced 24-year-old with a big smile who shows no signs of being anything except utterly charming.

Host Louise Roe - a leggy brunette and self-proclaimed fashion expert with a fabulous British accent - is horrified by the spectacle. "She's . . . sweet," Roe says lightly, though her eyes widen when Cristen confesses that she has been known to wear pajamas out of the house.

The series - perhaps a result of being co-executive-produced by the same people who run CBS' wacky reality show "Big Brother" - does get points for a few off-the-rails stunts, such as having Cristen overcome her bizarre, extreme fear of snails by hiding a $1,000 Bloomingdale's gift card in a jar full of the slimy critters.

MY SAY Turns out, there may be a reason that self-improvement shows like "Extreme Makover" and "The Swan" flamed out so quickly back in the day. While it could be captivating to watch an everyday person change everything about herself to gain confidence (Hollywood-speak for "become hotter"), it's simply unsatisfying when the magical transformation takes place thanks to a highly trained team of stylists, a personal life coach and pricey electronic equipment.

BOTTOM LINE After a day of reaping the benefits of Roe and her experts, Cristen gushes: "I feel like I'm in a movie." But sadly, she's just in a reality show, one that makes the stakes so low and so simple, it's difficult to care about the outcome.

GRADE C