Asking the Clergy about how to pray

What advice do you have for those unsure how to communicate with God?

If prayer is a conversation with God, what are the faithful to do when they don't know exactly what to think or say? Is there a right or wrong way to pray? We all can bring to mind the image of someone with head bowed and eyes closed. Our clergy extend a little help to them.

The Rev. Dr. Huibing He, Smithtown United Methodist Church, Smithtown:

I can understand someone feeling unsure about prayer. I think of prayer as someone wanting to express a wish, desire, hope, to cry, something beyond the now.

It is an inner voice that is the innate gift to every human being. When someone frames it as a prayer, that makes them think they should do something special.

We should remember that God created us, so each of us has the built-in ability to communicate with God. It is natural to turn to God with your inner voice in prayer.

In the early years of my growing up in China, there was no religious freedom. We were taught and forced to only believe in human power and suppress our yearning for something beyond ourselves. At that time, I was an atheist. Even so, I yearned for something, someone outside myself to communicate with me. Now as a Christian, I understand what I was feeling at that time was a need for prayer.

Think of prayer as being as natural as breathing. No one taught you how to breathe, but you can breathe. Prayer is the same. You can let your inner voice speak to God honestly, sincerely and as freely as you speak to a dear friend.

The Rev. Mike Smith, Shinnecock Indian Nation Presbyterian Church, Shinnecock Indian Nation, Southampton:

Prayer is a way of speaking to God, who loves us so much that he sent his son into the world for us. I would remind the person that he will not judge us. Anything that we say to him will not fall on deaf ears. There really is no right or wrong way or words for prayer. Any words you offer from your heart are heard.

I tell people all the time that there are two powerful prayers. Each is just two words: thank you and help me.

We are all God's children and no matter how unworthy or undeserving we might feel, he loves us unconditionally. Would you want your children to feel uncomfortable coming to you with anything? When we feel unworthy, it is us feeling unworthy, not God deeming us unworthy. It is important for us as clergy to help others to see their worthiness before the Creator.

Rabbi Mendy Goldberg, Lubavitch of the East End, Coram:

There are two times people tend to pray. One is when they are in need of something; for example, health, a job, forgiveness. Two is ritually, daily or on the weekends, when they're making a connection to God.

There is a fundamental flaw in what many think prayer really means. In Hebrew the word is "tefillah," which means to connect. Prayer is a time when the individual connects to the subconscious, the soul, to get in touch with one's true self. This is a time to reflect, resolve and reconnect, to touch one's soul.

For prayer to be more meaningful, there needs to be education. It should not be just about reading some passages of Psalms or singing hymns. There needs to be attentive understanding and preparation to comprehend what these words mean and how they relate to you. Once you have prepared and studied the words, it should give you passion and excitement for the process of praying. With these thoughts in mind, you would want to pray all day.

Sister Ann Marino, Cormaria Retreat House, Sag Harbor:

Prayer is a conversation with God. It is taking the time to be still and listen to God call you by your name. We live in a culture that is very busy, and we often find it hard to be still.

There are all kinds of prayer; for example, vocal, and community, where we share our prayers with others. There is the prayer of quiet, where God knows what is in our hearts and we open our hearts to God. There are also times when we are praying and do not even realize it. For example, when we see a beautiful sunset and stand in awe, or look into the eyes of someone we love and see in their face God's beauty and think, "Thank you, God." There is the time of Thanksgiving, when we pray as a nation to thank God for all we have received.

Prayer is simply being with your God anywhere.

Just sitting quietly and noticing the things around you can be a prayerful state. We often mistakenly think we must have a treatise on prayer. But, we don't. You can just sit quietly, even in a crowd, and allow God to speak to you. Prayer isn't always words. It also can be silence.