Go back and pay for sneakers you weren't charged for

DEAR AMY: Last week, my wife and I purchased three pairs of sneakers at a store. The service was poor and the experience was frustrating. As we were leaving, I noticed the cashier charged us for only two pairs of sneakers. I chose not to say anything about it. In the car, I told my wife what had happened, and she said, "Well, the store made an error, the service was poor, and I guess that means I got a pair of free sneakers." Even though I sort of agreed with her (and I didn't go back to the store to say anything), this issue has been nagging at me. I feel as though I "morally" did the wrong thing. Should I go back to the store and pay for the sneakers?

-- Feeling Guilty

DEAR GUILTY: When you throw quotation marks around the word "morally," you make it seem that morality is a theoretical construct. But morality is real and guilt is your character's gyroscope.

It is wrong to take and keep something you haven't paid for, regardless of whether the service was lousy or a mistake was made, and regardless of what your wife thinks.

You should go back to the store and pay for the sneakers.

You also should speak to the store manager and express your frustrations about the service you received. If this store is serious about retaining your business, the manager will try to make things right.

DEAR AMY: A letter from "Rejected and Dejected" talked about a group of pretty vicious "frenemies." One suggested to the writer that it was time for her to pull on her "big girl panties." You confessed to hating that phrase and said you blame Oprah Winfrey for its popular usage. I think the phrase originated much further back and I don't think Oprah is to blame.

-- Eagle Eye

DEAR EAGLE EYE: I dimly recall hearing it for the first time on Oprah's show, so I'm not blaming her for originating the phrase, but I do wish she would use her power to make it stop.