DEAR AMY: I have been married to a great guy for over 40 years. We are both retired. We have a lovely home and he has done a lot of the repairs and remodeling. I am proud of what he has done. I have dealt with an issue all our married life and I would like some advice on how to "let it go." In a house there are always things to fix. When I tell my husband about them, he says my nagging ensures they will never get fixed. For instance, our shower has been dripping for two months and I can hear it when I'm sleeping. He told me to "just shut the door." He won't let me call a plumber. I don't tell him every day about repairing things -- I have tried twice a week, once a week, and then writing it down. I made a "honey do" list and left it on the counter. He kept moving it to another table. The list sat there for months, and then I threw it out. If a repair is his idea, he has no problem attacking it. What am I doing wrong?

-- Not the Perfect Wife

DEAR WIFE: The only thing you are doing "wrong" is assigning a task to your husband that you could take care of yourself. Many DIY home stores offer courses on light home repair. I suggest you take a class (or buy a book or watch YouTube videos) on how to repair your dripping shower. Then tackle this task yourself.

When I ran your question past my own husband (a contractor), he assured me that if you took on this home repair yourself, either you would succeed in making this repair or (very likely) you would succeed in getting your husband off his duff.

DEAR AMY: Your response to "Disgusted Dad," the father who didn't want his 18-year-old son to smoke pot, was good. This dad should draw the line at a zero policy in the house. The son is an adult. He will see the difference between potheads and productive people soon enough.

-- Ben in Boston

DEAR BEN: This father can impose sanctions in his own home -- but not necessarily elsewhere.


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