Woman knows too much about friend's betrayal

DEAR AMY: I have two friends who happen to be cousins to each other -- "Carmen" and "Angela." Angela has been dating her boyfriend, "Jose," for about three years. She talks about marriage. I don't think he's a good guy, but I don't know if I should tell her. He has cheated on Angela with her cousin Carmen. I wish Carmen hadn't told me this. She has put me between a rock and a hard place. I've reprimanded her many times and have made sure she never talks to him again (as far as I know). I've asked Carmen to come clean with Angela, but she is afraid to. She feels bad about what she did, and no longer talks to Jose. I feel that if Jose did this to Angela with her cousin, he might be cheating on her with other girls. Angela has had suspicions but always believes him. Angela does not deserve this, but Carmen is my friend, and I would have to out her if I let Angela know about what happened. What should I do?

-- Desperate to Be a Good Friend

DEAR DESPERATE: First I want you to grab the first "10-foot pole" you see. Then, you should use it to distance yourself from this mess.

You have done your best to intervene, for the sake of the family and these friends you care so much about. But this is a family thing, and you should tell yourself you've tried your hardest, and then you should definitely let it go.

DEAR AMY: I'm responding to "Tired," who was upset that her stepdaughter -- who flew with her entire family to visit twice a year -- didn't rent a car or pay for groceries and/or dinners out. Has Tired not flown anywhere in the past few years? It's nearly impossible to find a plane ticket cheaper than $350 per person. For a family of four, twice a year is a hefty price tag. A $300 dinner tab is peanuts compared to what the stepdaughter's family spends to visit. Tired could always get on a plane herself to see her grandkids without making them come to her.

-- Annoyed

DEAR ANNOYED: Great point. Thank you.