My Turn: How I spent my summer during the COVID-19 pandemic

Summer 2020 was a test of resilience and reminiscent of the summer of 1984, when my older brother, 10 at the time, survived a week of hospitalization for epiglottitis secondary to Haemophilus influenzae B — the latter of which children are now routinely vaccinated against.

This summer, when the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted our children’s camp plans, I remembered my brother and feared the worst. There was great relief when their camps decided to close; but the feeling was short-lived. I worried about our 8-year-old son and especially our 10-year-old son, who has autism. I saw the window closing for social learning. Plans for structured days no longer seemed to exist.

Parental panic crept in, and I turned to my training as a clinical psychologist. My job requires me to stay positive and to help others problem-solve, both of which help build resilience. This time, the treatment was self-directed. I knew I had to accept the situation, use coping skills, enlist support and take care of my family. I reminded myself to think about the ways in which we were fortunate. My husband and I were able to work from home and had strong connections with a community of therapists and teachers. The situation started to feel less dire. With my husband working many hours, I knew it was up to me to start planning.

I envisioned what camp would be like in our backyard, using previous camp schedules as a guide. We could set up outdoor games and a pool. We could present our daily plans to our two campers during a morning meeting under an official Camp Gilbert tent accompanied by camp songs. Virtual weekly seminars/lessons about such topics as art, history, cooking, nature and law taught by family guests and teachers would provide intellectual stimulation in-between playtime. Each week such themes as camp song, comedy and spirit week would inform our scheduled activities. There would be times our campers would be together doing STEM and sports, as well as individual activities such as piano. We would enjoy a weekly outdoor cookout and movie projected on a large screen and, of course, a mini carnival at the end of the summer where their grandparents could co-host contests. Naturally, there would be downtime for the kids to engage in their personal favorite — screen time. This would also be my downtime, when I could race up to my home office to call patients who needed help managing their own stress.

Even with the best intentions, there were challenges. Having a child with special needs requires additional attention. When our son told us he missed his friends, we initiated a virtual theater production with them facilitated by a teacher from school. We also coordinated socially distanced bike rides with friends. When there were meltdowns I would breathe, remind myself of our special summer together, seek support and keep going. I also would recall the experience with my brother along with my children’s dependence and vulnerability, which strengthened my resolve to take care of them.

Inevitably, our kids learned that their friends had been on in-person play dates. When the boys told us they felt jealous, I felt guilt and regret. We explained that everyone is making their own choices and that we felt our choices were keeping them safe from COVID-19. Besides, not everyone had Camp Gilbert.

The plans were exhausting to carry out. There were long days racing between work and camp, but there were silver linings. We enjoyed playing Ping-Pong, jumbo Jenga and knock hockey together, as well as taking daily family bike rides. When the kids had art, I painted with them; when they had STEM, I built with them. And throughout all of it, I remained thankful and resilient for this COVID-19 summer — as did the kids, who asked to return to Camp Gilbert in 2021!

Alison Gilbert,

Roslyn