Sculpting self-esteem along with his art

At 70, Philip Kneer is nothing like the man he was more than 40 years ago. And for that, he is thankful.

During those younger years, Kneer had a wife and three young children, but the marriage ended badly. The week his divorce became final, his beloved father died. And soon after, Kneer had to file for bankruptcy because his business was failing. That painful series of events left him devastated and scarred.

"I had a feeling of emptiness," recalls Kneer, whose immigrant family farmed land in Hauppauge before electricity became a common luxury. "I became depressed, clinically. I had trouble with my digestive system, trouble sleeping."

Kneer says growing up in a home of very modest means left him with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence he carried into manhood. And after the divorce, his limited access to his children made him physically ill. Kneer consulted medical doctors for his ailments but never sought a therapist to help him cope with his downward emotional spiral.

"I figured it was a weakness on my part and that I should be able to straighten myself out," Kneer explains.

Gradually, that's exactly what happened. Through a love of art and restoration, he was fortunate enough to turn his life around without professional help. Painting in oils or water colors, carving and sculpting in wood and metal, sketching and restoring antiques, "filled a void" to help Kneer find the healing he yearned for.

"Being creative was very important to me," he says, explaining his personal journey through art. "It actually gives you an inner strength. I had no self-esteem left. It made me rise out of myself and gave me self-confidence. It gave me focus. It gave me purpose. It brought back some of my pride." Family and friends praise his artistry, but he rarely shows his works publicly, preferring to protect and enjoy them himself in his immaculate Bay Shore bungalow.

For Kneer, the road to achieving self-esteem and confidence was paved with woodcarving tools, paint brushes, canvasses and a relentless determination to make beautiful things. On his own, he discovered the therapeutic aspect of art and being creative -- something experts say has long been a helpful tool in dealing with personal problems.

"It's the use of visual media to deal non-verbally with a variety of psychiatric issues, one of which is depression," says Joan Bloomgarden, associate professor at Hofstra University's Creativity Art Therapy Program. "People look at their own art and begin to get insight into their own problem. It's the concrete realization of their internal world."

Bloomgarden, who doesn't know Kneer or his works, adds, "If you go back to 9/11 when people had a lot of emotion about it, they were writing poetry, drawing pictures. People wrote songs and were singing because of the natural need to express themselves."

After high school, Kneer enrolled at Parsons School of Design in Manhattan. But a boyhood spent outdoors on a farm made the classrooms seem too confining, and he left school after six months. When he returned to Long Island, he became a carpenter's apprentice, garnering skills that led to a career designing and building kitchens and restoring pre-19th century homes.

When he's not at a job site, he works on his projects while listening to classical music, or enjoys the company of his grown children, grandchildren and friends. But nothing has had a more positive effect than his art. "It's something when you're done, you have satisfaction," he says.

One of his most cherished pieces is a prizewinning wooden statue of a Hopi Indian, carved from a 1,400 pound white pine trunk, that took three years to complete. Kneer infused it with linseed and turpentine oils to prevent it from splitting, then lovingly hand-rubbed the sculpted image with walnut stain and oil.

The life-size statue was created as a tribute to the American Indians he studied and came to admire through a friend, who was Indian. "I found myself through Native American culture," Kneer says. "I saw that they can survive based on their beliefs; how they accept things and keep their pride. They can lose their land and their culture and still have the strength to pull themselves together. It gave me a strong feeling about survival."

Some may call him a Renaissance man for the range of his skills. A quiet soul who appreciates solace and the extensive research he does before every project, Kneer has restored a 1951 Ford pickup truck and a 14-foot skiff named "Melon Seed" that he still sails. Some of his carvings include intricately detailed decoy ducks and cigar store figures. His current project is a model race car, sculpted from wood, with sleek, futuristic lines.

"I think when I finished the big Indian [in 1976], that was the healing," Kneer says. "Everything I do brings more gratification and more self-confidence." He was offered $25,000 for the Indian statue, he says, a value that confirmed its worth to him. But he won't sell it because "it stimulates me to do other things and achieve that perfection."

Kneer learned the benefits of art by himself, but many have found the same satisfaction in classrooms. "People sign up for art classes because it's such a joy to express yourself in a creative way and develop your creative mind and nurture your soul," said Theresa Statz-Smith, executive director of the Long Island Arts Alliance.

"Art's a very personal thing," says Tom Stacey, executive director of the Art League of Long Island in Dix Hills. "People really put their heart into this. Art teaches the values of patience, practice and perseverance; how you deal with success and how you deal with disappointment. They come in because they want to improve their skills as an artist, and they have some fun doing it, but what they pull out of art are all of these values."

Kneer also found that the art of staying fit was integral to his healing process. A former marathoner and gymnast, Kneer has put running back in his routine. He still does hundreds of crunches and sit-ups every day at 5 a.m. "When I wasn't feeling well, I resorted to a lot of physical exercise," he says. "I was coming apart. Your body has to be strong to clear your head. I started to look better and feel better" after exercising.

The strength and self-confidence he gained over the years helped him when his second marriage ended after 27 years. "I was 64 when she left," says Kneer. "It leaves terrible scars, but it didn't devastate me this time. I learned how to cope with disappointment and tragedy."

Kneer's children have witnessed the effect art has had on him over the years. "It gave him focus for sure," says his son, Seth Kneer, 45, of Brightwaters. "When he's working, it's like he's in a trance . . . It takes him away from the stresses of life. He's very intense. I'm very proud of what he does. I think his art is impressive. He's a talented guy. I wish he would do it more. He could make a living with it. To be able to picture an image in his mind and create it with his hands, that's a rare quality."

Kneer's daughter, Celeste Anthony, 46, of East Moriches, says that with art in her father's life, "He's more open, He's a lot more upbeat. He's warmer." Her dad's carpentry and home restorations should also be considered part of his artwork, she says. "He's a craftsman . . . That's how he expresses himself. He amazes me. He's very talented."

Kneer knows he is unqualified to say whether others could find peace through art, but he is certain it has helped to create a better life for himself.

"I'm the happiest I've ever been," he says. "It's got to the point where it's just pure art now; it's not therapy anymore. I didn't know anything about art therapy, but it worked. It definitely did."