Tip: College grads prove you can go home again

As new college grads pick up their diplomas and head for the road to an independent life, many will experience a lengthy detour - back to their old bedrooms in their parents' homes. If you're one of those parents, much has changed in the four years since these high school grads became college grads. Their knowledge has grown, but your 401(k) has probably shrunk. And the employment situation for young people is dire.

"The biggest illusion for kids is they're going to get a job as soon as they get home," says author and career counselor Kenneth Jedding. In fact, a new survey by Pew Research Center found that the millennial generation - young adults 18-29 - is having the toughest time of any age group finding a job, with only 41 percent saying they are working full time.

As the futile job search drags into weeks, then months, and maybe years, the kids get discouraged and the parents get panicky. "The parents may be thinking, 'How long is this going to last, how long is this kid going to be sponging off me?' " Jedding says. Jedding's new book, "Higher Education: On Life, Landing a Job and Everything Else They Didn't Teach You in College," is aimed at new grads, although parents can learn from its lessons, too. Jedding also offers tips to new grads on his website,

higheredgradbook.com.

Jedding, 52, who grew up on Long Island, knows the landscape has changed since he graduated from college and returned to his parents' Jericho home. "This is not a world where they're going to get a job right away," he says.

Jedding says everyone must beware of returning to the tense pre-college relationship. "Kids regress to door slamming and temper tantrums," Jedding says. "But parents regress, too. They treat the kid as if he or she was 16 or 18."

Parents must understand their child is an adult, Jedding says. Try to let rational discussions replace the old screaming matches. And keep this thought in mind: This arrangement is temporary.

"They're not going to live home forever," Jedding says. "They're going to move on, but you're helping them through a very difficult time."