Tip: Happiness in looking back on long lives

The past is prologue to a future of happiness.

Two new studies of people in their 80s and their 100s concluded that contentment is a state of mind, even as the body starts to decline. Researchers from Iowa State University's gerontology program found when centenarians were spurred to talk about how much they had accomplished in their lives, they felt happy, despite the limitations of their current age.

While the studies focused on octogenarians and centenarians, there are implications for family members and caregivers: Don't just ask older folks how they're feeling or talk at them. Engage them in a real conversation about their lives.

"There's a lot to talk about," says Peter Martin, director of the gerontology program at Iowa State University. "Maybe you think you've heard it all as a family member, but chances are you have not."

Feelings of happiness can be sparked not only when older folks reminisce about good times but when they talk about difficult or challenging times as well. "For example, ask them how they experienced the Great Depression," Martin says. "It gives them some worth, some meaning in life that their opinions still count."

The second study concluded that people in their 80s often feel depressed because they worry about losing control of their lives and becoming a burden to their families. But these feelings can be overcome. "If you can accept that you have to do with a little less, then you can still be a happy person," Martin says. "You have to accept that not everything will be perfect and it's OK to ask for help." Both studies were published in the medical journal Gerontology.

The studies also have implications for boomers - what some call the Me Generation that never expected to get old. "Baby boomers want to be in charge and in control forever," says Martin, 53. "We will have to for the first time allow ourselves to let go."

And for those boomers and younger seniors who hope to get to triple digits, Martin says the time to prepare is before you see 80 candles on your cake. "Stay in shape physically and keep your mind stimulated in your 50s, 60s and 70s," he says. "It will pay off when you're in your 80s, 90s and 100s."