Tip: Second life after a spouse's death
It's not unusual to become depressed and isolated after a spouse dies. But after losing her husband of 51 years, Beverly Munter wanted to take a different course.
Munter's husband died in 2004. After a short period of bereavement, she decided that being alone was something she neither wanted nor accepted. "I was too active a person to just shut down, to say, 'Well, this is the only guy I had in my life,' " she says. "I wanted to see what life had to offer."
At first, it was difficult, especially when she went out with couples she and her husband knew. "I felt awful," she says. "There was an empty seat, and I knew my husband belonged in that empty seat."
She was soon online, even though she had limited computer skills at the time. Wary at first, she learned how to successfully surf the sometimes shark-infested dating sites. Over a two-year period, she says, she chatted with 1,200 men online and dated 43 of them. She met someone special and, she says, love can be as lovely the second time around. "The thrill is the same when you kiss today as it was when you were 16," says Munter, who turns 77 next month.
Munter, a Jericho resident, is passing on her experience and enthusiasm to other Long Island seniors. "I call myself the motivational speaker to the singles world, like a senior coach," she says. She has put together a multimedia presentation aimed at showing single seniors how to get back into circulation. In her seminar, Munter tells how she returned to the dating scene and shows video clips of other seniors who have found new love after the death of a spouse. She also talks about how to use the Internet to find prospective dates, mates and friends.
Munter is presenting her show around Long Island. Her first two presentations are at Jericho Public Library on Tuesday and East Meadow Public Library on June 13. Both events start at 7 p.m. and are free.
"I'm hoping to show them how exciting life can be," she says. "They can really have a new life, a new path to freedom."
