9/11 families forming long-term bonds

It was like a family reunion.

Nicole Reda of New Hyde Park, Debbie Carson of Massapequa Park and Tricia Dean of Floral Park stood together on the starboard side as the FDNY's fireboat, the John D. McKean, passed under a glittering Brooklyn Bridge Thursday night.

"Out of such a horrible tragedy, such a good thing happened," Carson said. "We all do things together."

The three were among 96 relatives of 9/11 victims - many of them now close friends - who climbed aboard the boat for the 2 1/2-hour evening excursion to Ground Zero and around Manhattan. For the fifth year, the New York City Fire Department and the C.W. Post 9/11 Families Center had organized the trip.

Thomas Demaria, director of the center, which counsels families affected by 9/11, said the excursion gives families a chance to remember loved ones in a more serene setting.

Earlier, as the boat gently rocked near Ground Zero under a setting sun, the 19 families threw blue slips on which they had written their thoughts to their missing relatives into the Hudson River.

Yet despite the somber moment, the feeling aboard the 130-foot boat was warm and comfortable, as adults talked quietly and kids moved in swarms over the decks.

The three women explained how the families center had brought them together.

"We all had newborns or had just given birth," said Reda, whose sons were 2 1/2 and 8 weeks old when her husband, Gregory, was killed.

Meeting every Wednesday at the center, the widows bonded. "We went through potty training, walking, teething - everything," Carson said.

The bond has remained. Every year they do a big trip together. This weekend Carson is hosting an end-of-summer barbecue for the three families.

They're not unusual. Martha Wright helped Diana Hetzel - both of whom had lost their husbands and attended Thursday - find a home near her in Rockville Centre. Hetzel said her daughter, Amanda, 11, has grown up surrounded by kids she met at the center.

"They're like cousins," Amanda said.

Kevin Casey and Theresa Fiorelli, both of whom had lost their spouses on 9/11, met in a counseling group sponsored by Catholic Charities. The couple, from Holmdel, N.J., became friends and married last October. Thursday was Casey's first wife Kathleen's birthday.

Margie Miller of Baldwin, who worked at the center after she lost her husband, Joel, in the attacks, said being able to connect with someone who has been through the same horrific event is key to healing.

As she told the group after their blue slips glided under the water: "This is a family and what has sustained us."