Family, friends seek to keep roadside memorial
Tina Krokowski at a memorial for her daughter, Kaitlyn, that has stood on Main Street in Farmingdale since she died in a traffic accident in January 2009. (April 30, 2010) Credit: Craig Ruttle
Kaitlyn Krokowski's friends and family make regular visits to a particular utility pole in Farmingdale village.
They bring flowers, cards and stuffed animals to what they call "Kaitlyn's Pole," a memorial to the 19-year-old Krokowski who died in January 2009 when she lost control of the sport utility vehicle she was driving and crashed into the pole.
But the memorial, at the corner of Main Street and Grant Avenue, has drawn the attention of village officials who want to take the memorial down and repaint the pole.
The village said in a recent statement that it respects the rights of Krokowski's family to grieve but wants the memorial removed "so that the Village Main Street can return to normalcy."
In place of the pole, Farmingdale has offered to help the Krokowskis raise money for a bench with Kaitlyn's name on it, which would cost $1,600. The bench would be placed a short distance from the pole.
But Tina Krokowski, Kaitlyn's mother, says nothing could replace the current memorial.
"As much as the bench is nice, it's not Kaitlyn's Pole," she said. "It's not personal. It's not where they [Kaitlyn's friends] can go to. The pole is the place she took her last breath. There's no time limit in grief."
Roadside memorials such as the one for Krokowski crop up all over Long Island. Some of them last for years.
"Kaitlyn's Pole" started the morning after her death, said friend Kacie Temprano. "By the end of that week, it looks the way it does now," she said.
On the 19th of every month - the date Krokowski died - her friends visit the pole, Temprano said.
"People tell me to go to the cemetery," she said. "I don't feel like Kaitlyn's there."
Village Administrator Brian Harty said the village has received complaints about the memorial.
In its statement, the village said it wanted to pay "proper and solemn respect for a tragic loss of life," but also "provide those who work and shop in the downtown the atmosphere which they expect."
Tina Krokowski said she didn't blame the village but called its actions "premature."
"We drive by there every day," she said. "We say 'Good morning' to her. . . . To me, it's like a part of her still lives through that pole."
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