Group of LI women heads to Rwanda to find ways to help

Friday, Marie Goretti Ukeye will board a jet with six friends, five from Long Island, on a journey to her beloved home country of Rwanda.

Their goal is to assess the needs of women and children there and in the neighboring Democratic Republic of Congo, then pursue ways to help. They anticipate the trip will be the first of many.

The journey will include visits to an orphanage in Nyarugunga, the district around Rwanda's capital of Kigali, and to a hospital in the Congo. They plan to learn what needs to be done by asking "What does 'better' look like for you?"

That's what one of Liz Gannon-Graydon's social studies students at St. Benedict Joseph LaBre in Richmond Hill asked her in 1992. "It kind of stuck with me in a good way," says Graydon, 47, of West Hempstead, who now home-schools her 8- and 10-year-old sons.

Listening to women to learn about their needs will "validate them and help them heal" from the physical and emotional tolls of living in a land scarred by the 1994 Rwandan genocide, said Kathleen Casserly, 57, of Huntington, a counselor at Farmingdale State College.

The genocide - after the assassination of president Juvenal Habyarimana, whose plane was shot down in April 1994 - killed an estimated 800,000 people. Among the victims were Ukeye's brothers Charles, 32, and George, 18, and sister Jacqueline, 34.

"Now, Rwanda is seeing much improvement and economic growth," says Ukeye, 42, an executive assistant at Zurich Financial Services in Manhattan who lives in Jamaica Estates. "But there is work to do to help these women heal." Thousands of refugees from Rwanda fled to the Congo.

The women met in 2006 when they were involved in starting a Long Island chapter of the nonprofit organization Department of Peace, which promotes nonviolent approaches to conflict resolution. They believe women need to globally unite to foster change.

Each woman has experience with service-oriented volunteerism. One, Eileen Ilardo, a dental hygienist from Oceanside, said she traveled to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina to offer teeth cleanings and distribute toothbrushes and other needed products. On this trip, she plans to assess the sterilization of facilities to determine if they're suitable for dental cleanings on future trips.

This is the first trip to Africa for each. They will depart from Kennedy Airport and, after a stop in Brussels, are scheduled to arrive in Rwanda Saturday. The $2,000 cost to each covers plane tickets, updated passports and obtaining a visa, plus vaccines for yellow fever and pills that prevent malaria and typhoid, hepatitis A and B.

Their carry-on luggage is packed with toys and such gifts as New York T-shirts and hats, bracelets and shoes. Oceanside resident Norma Loeb included seashells. "Because Rwanda is landlocked, I thought the children would like seashells from Jones Beach," said Loeb, 57, an executive assistant to the chief financial officer of the New York Times Corp.

For the children in the orphanage, "I packed 15 deflated soccer balls," said Casserly, along with "nursing scrubs for the hospital." She will distribute toothpaste and toothbrushes donated by Farmingdale State College's Dental Hygiene Department.

Casserly and Loeb plan to meet two Rwandan women they have been supporting through Women for Women International, an organization that helps women in war-torn regions rebuild their lives.

Rob Graydon, 44, a filmmaker, says of his wife's travels: "Clearly there are two sides to this journey. One is to be encouraging and supportive, but there's anxiety [too]." In 2008, the couple created the website www.whatbetterlookslike.com.

The travelers, who call themselves Amahoro women, a word that means peace in the Rwandan language, Kinyarwanda, also include Chris Clarke of Lake Ronkonkoma and Priscilla Hernandez of Manhattan.

Ukeye said the women will be staying in Kigali with her mother and her brothers' families.

"As a survivor, I feel 'akanyongezo,' which is a bonus life," she said. "I have to use this time to help others."