Women's Center of Huntington a haven

In the back of historic Old First Presbyterian Church in Huntington, there is a sanctuary for women only.

Tucked away on the second floor, behind a nondescript door, is the Women's Center of Huntington, a haven where women can come for mutual support and growth in a welcoming, nonjudgmental atmosphere.

"It's like a hug for women," said Lynne Kinnucan, a Huntington Station resident who has handled communication for the nonprofit center for the past six years. "It is a place to share, learn, listen and grow together."

Empowerment, leadership development, reclaiming identity and self-discovery are also on the agenda of the nondenominational center, which functions much like a support group for women across Long Island but is not limited to any particular group, such as those affected by substance abuse or domestic violence.

Message of strength

"The theory is you are a wonderful, strong woman and the things you discover that you love about yourself and want to go for, you go for them," Kinnucan said. "You are a leader."

Since the center's founding in the early 1980s, hundreds of women have come through the door and heard that message, Kinnucan said.

The center has about 200 members who come by to engage in fellowship, share, eat, bond, listen or simply be heard. But the center mostly is about helping women build their confidence and a foundation that will lead to endless possibilities.

How do they do this? By meeting Monday through Friday to participate in support groups and workshops on such topics as depression, dating, body image and women's suffrage that pique intellectual curiosity.

"We have a format and philosophy that we use that isn't common," said Evelyn Degen, a Huntington resident and member who has been affiliated with the center off and on since the early 1980s. "It eliminates competition and allows for more sharing. We give people an opportunity to become leaders, to go out and use the skills they've learned at the women's center to move forward."

Center's guidelines

That philosophy centers around guidelines, or as the women refer to them, agreements. These rules help each woman learn how to support another woman and in turn, members say, learn to identify their own power.

There is no advice giving; only one woman speaks at a time;

All personal information shared is strictly confidential, never to be brought up again, except by the speaker;

No put-downs of yourself or others are permitted.

"Sometimes when you think about a gaggle of women, everyone is interrupting each other and no one's listening," said Huntington resident and founding member Julia Romaine. "When we started we had all these guidelines and we were like, 'Wow, when you have all these guidelines look at what you can learn about people, look at what you can discover within yourself.' "

Barbara Distinti, a board member, started coming to the center after her retirement and the deaths a few years ago of her husband and a close friend. She said the center allows women whose lives would not ordinarily cross to connect.

"The main idea is to come in and share our life experiences or things that are bothering us," Distinti said. "But we don't give advice; just by listening we feel we help people come to the right conclusion on their own. Just sometimes they need to hear it spoken out loud and it becomes clear to them."

Kinnucan acknowledges conveying the power of silence and no verbal feedback is a difficult concept to comprehend, unless you experience it.

"Tell me what love feels like, what does broccoli taste like," she asks. "It's a commitment to listening and caring; you walk out feeling important and not beaten down. You feel important. It's about being heard."

The center was modeled on one in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, according to Romaine. After researching several communities, Donna Jenson, the organizer of the Union Center for Women, thought Huntington would be a good place to open a second location. So in March 1981, with Jenson's help, about a dozen women created the Huntington facility.

"The premise was to get the support you need, practice your leadership in a safe place and then you spiral out so there is room for other people to move up," Romaine said.

Jenson, who now lives in Leverett, Mass., said she wanted to expand what was essentially a feminist message of empowerment to the suburbs.

"The word feminism was a very scary word back in the '70s, '80s for a lot of mainstream women," Jenson said. "But the basics of providing support groups for women to talk about their lives in a way they never had before was very compelling. It was very much the women's movement."

This past spring the center, which gets its funding from state grants, fundraisers, donations and fees, celebrated its 30th anniversary. Members and guests reflected on its past and its current mission, with an eye toward what the future holds.

"The thing we are struggling with right now is do we keep this vision of the women's center or do we open it up to other things such as an after-school crafts workshop for at-risk girls," Kinnucan said.

Though a new direction is undecided, one thing's for certain, she noted: "the true core of the center is the listening and empowering."

Group hug

Where: 125 Main St., Huntington; 631-427-2101

When: Monday  to Friday, 10 a.m to 1 p.m.

More info: For workshop hours visit womenscenterli.org