John Kilbride dies at 73; Vietnam vet, former Freeport police union president

As a Vietnam War veteran, John “Jack” Kilbride joined a historic fact-finding delegation to find missing soldiers. And as president of the Freeport police union, he insisted officers get semiautomatic guns, making the department one of the nation’s first to transition from revolvers.

Nothing could dominate his spirit — not two tours of Vietnam, nor his injuries as a police officer nor the burn of Agent Orange, family and friends said.

He’d tell veterans and others, “Somebody else has it worse than you. Pick yourself up and keep going,” said his brother, Chuck Kilbride, a retired Marine major from Levittown.

John Kilbride, a lifelong Levittown resident, died of Agent Orange-related illnesses on March 22, his family said. He was 73.

Always a tough guy, a teenage Kilbride and his companions often got into “misadventures,” family and friends said.

Shortly before high school graduation, lifelong buddy Bob Terrel recalled, he and Kilbride dared each other to join the military — the “family business” for generations of Kilbrides. Just after graduating in 1967, the two new Marines were sent to Da Nang in the same unit.

Kilbride, a corporal, fought as the leader of a rocket section and an explosives expert in major battles, including the Viet Cong’s Tet Offensive. He was given the Navy Achievement Medal with Valor when he drew fire away from pinned-down comrades, family members said.

The medal also cited him for turning his men into “an effective fighting force” through tireless training and tactical deployment.

His two Purple Hearts recognized the times when a rocket smeared with feces — a Viet Cong practice — hit his hand, causing an infection, and when he was blown out of a helicopter, one of two survivors, those who knew him said.

“Vietnam was pretty bad, but we never panicked,” said Terrel, now of Corrales, New Mexico. “We kind of knew we were not going to die. I think that’s what got us through everything.”

It was an emotionally painful trip when Kilbride and three other veterans went back to Vietnam in 1985 on a New York State-funded mission to find POWs and MIAs, get the status of Amerasian children and learn about the impact of Agent Orange. The delegation, headed by then-Assemb. John Behan of Montauk, helped launched federal efforts that led to the return of combatants’ remains.

“We thought we were men then,” Kilbride told The New York Times during the trip. “Hell, we were only boys.”

Hired by Freeport police four days after his 1969 return from Vietnam, Kilbride soon gained a reputation for being tough and the voice of reason. He was the head of the Freeport Police Benevolent Association during contract negotiations in the mid-1980s and fought for officers to be better armed against criminals carrying semiautomatic weapons.

“Jack knew what it was to be in a firefight and at times in Vietnam, just to be overrun and ... helpless," said Artie Burdette, a Freeport police retiree and also a former union president.

“The courage this guy had was unbelievable … he’s like a gentle giant. When he dealt with people who had any hardship or saw some kids that needed something, he’d take care of it.”

Kilbride was searching for a burglar in a dark, old commercial property when he fell through a cellar opening, causing back and knee injuries that prompted the sergeant to retire from the force in 1989.

He then worked for 10 years as military congressional aide for then-Rep. Peter King (R-Seaford).

"My father spent a lot of time talking to us and giving us life lessons,” said his daughter Kelly Gaspari of Levittown. “He would wake us up in the middle of the night and we’d go fishing down at the piers and the bridges. He would just take us places and spend time looking at the stars or looking at the clouds, appreciate nature around us.”

Besides his daughter and brother, Kilbride also is survived by his wife, Virginia Kilbride of Levittown; children Michael Kilbride of Levittown and Kristin Ciejka of upstate Clifton Park; sisters Mary Caso and Elizabeth Kilbride, both of St. Simons, Georgia; and 12 grandchildren.

A funeral Mass was celebrated on March 29 at St. James Roman Catholic Church in Seaford, followed by burial at Long Island National Cemetery in Pinelawn.