Ready to be deacons, Long Island women still waiting for the Catholic Church to say yes

A half-century ago, Sister Evelyn Lamoureux applied to become a deacon in the Roman Catholic Church. She met all the requirements except one: she wasn’t a man.

Today, she is still waiting to become a deacon. That would allow her to perform some of the same functions as priests, such as preaching at Mass and presiding over baptisms, weddings and funerals. She and other Catholic women on Long Island are infuriated that a Vatican commission this month announced that it still isn’t time.

"I’m incensed," said Lamoureux, who is 84 and belongs to the Islip-based Daughters of Wisdom religious order. "I think the church needs deacons, the church needs ministers" who are women.

Another Long Island Catholic says she has written a letter to Pope Leo XIV encouraging him to allow women deacons. A third said she would be a perfect candidate to become a deacon but had given up amid Vatican paralysis.

The debate over women deacons has raged for decades.

Although deacons can perform certain functions, they cannot celebrate Mass, hear confession or administer last rites as priests do. Deacons can be married, while priests cannot.

Proponents say allowing women to serve as deacons would give women more equality in a 2,000-year-old institution they contend has treated them like second-class citizens. They also argue it could help address the priest shortage.

Opponents fear the move would be the first step toward ordaining women as priests. The church teaches that only men can be priests since Jesus chose only men as his Twelve Apostles.

Served in early days

Women served as deacons in the Catholic Church from its early years up until the 12th century, according to Phyllis Zagano, an expert on the topic who is a researcher at Hofstra University. The ordained diaconate then faded away in the West for both women and men except for men preparing to become priests. Following the Vatican II reforms of the 1960s, it resumed, but only for men. Extending it to women was proposed by two bishops during the historic Vatican II meetings but went nowhere, Zagano said.

Since then, multiple Vatican commissions have studied the issue of women deacons. Pope Francis named one of his own in 2016, with Zagano among its members, and another in 2020.

Leo took the unusual step on Dec. 4 of releasing that commission’s findings. By a 7-1 vote, it said its recommendation "excludes the possibility" of allowing women to serve as deacons. Divergent opinions exist on the issue, the commission said, and more study is needed. It instead proposed the creation of new lay ministries for women outside the ordained diaconate.

The Women’s Ordination Conference, a national group that wants women deacons and priests, said in response it was "appalled by the Vatican’s refusal to open its doors to women, even a crack. Make no mistake: this is a decision that will harm the global church."

Some analysts said Leo’s release of the report signaled it was unlikely he would approve women deacons any time soon, if ever.

"I viewed it as an attempt either by the pope or by the Vatican's doctrinal officials to remove this from the pope's desk, as it were," said John Thavis, author of "The Vatican Diaries." "They don’t necessarily want to see this as a continuing issue for Pope Leo."

"They could have simply kept it under wraps," said Thavis, referring to the report. "But the fact that the Vatican published this with its very negative views on women deacons is significant. I would be very surprised if Pope Leo turns around after publishing this and says ...‘I want to move forward on this aggressively.’ I would be shocked, in fact."

Door not totally shut

But Zagano, who prepared to become a deacon in the 1970s, said she believed the door was not totally shut. "The document does not rule out women deacons, but it tries to, even as it states more study is necessary," she wrote in a column for Religion News Service.

Cathy Roberts, 71, a longtime church worker from Setauket, said she felt like she would be an ideal candidate to be a deacon, and desperately wanted to be one.

Roberts holds two master’s degrees, in theology and religious education, including one from the diocesan Seminary of the Immaculate Conception in Huntington. She also is certified in spiritual direction. She worked for 20 years in church jobs, including family faith formation.

With four children of her own and now seven grandchildren, Roberts believed God was telling her she could bring a mother’s and a woman’s perspective to the ministry of deacon.

"I really felt called to serve the people of God," she said. "The people are hungry for it and needy for service. I was perfectly tooled for it. I had the time. I had the desire. I wanted to serve ... It seemed to be a natural fit."

Her hopes were lifted when Pope Francis appointed the first commission. Roberts even spoke to the pastor of her parish, who was sympathetic but disappointed there was no pathway for her.

"I do think people are hungry for a different perspective, other than just the male half of the population, as wonderful as they are," she said.

But then nothing happened. Roberts eventually gave up, realizing her years were limited and she could not wait forever.

"I kind of lost heart and patience, and said, ‘Let's see where else God might be calling me,’ " she said. "I was ready, willing and able to do diaconate work for the church, but the pathway there was taking way too long."

Six years ago, Roberts became a lay member of the Sisters of St. Joseph of Brentwood through a special program. She remains married but carries out similar ministries as the nuns and takes a lifelong vow to follow their spiritual practices and teachings.

'Had high hopes'

"I'm very disappointed in" Francis and Leo, who "we all had high hopes for being much more open-minded and much more welcoming to the idea of women deacons," Roberts said. "I really don't understand the reluctance to ordain women."

Eileen McMahon works full-time as a Catholic chaplain in Catholic hospitals on Long Island. She says she wrote to Leo in September encouraging him to approve women deacons and expand their role to allow deacons to administer the sacrament of anointing of the sick. Only priests can do so now.

She said she had seen many instances where overworked priests barely — or never — made it to the bedside of a patient to administer the sacrament.

McMahon offered to Leo to serve as a volunteer if he wants to do a trial to see how women deacons work out, she said.

Limiting the diaconate to men is "clearly a misunderstanding of the full nature of men and women as equals," she said. "I just see a failure to recognize the giftedness of women."

Lamoureux, the nun, recalled that she decided to apply to become a deacon in the mid-1970s after she overheard the priest in charge of that office in the Diocese of Brooklyn where she was working say that no women were interested.

"I felt I could relate to people in a different way" than male deacons and priests did, she said.

Despite a half-century of disappointment, she is still ready to serve as a deacon if the pope approves it, she said.

"I would say hallelujah," Lamoureux said. "It’s been a long time in coming. I know there are many women who have advocated for this. It would be going back to the roots of the Catholic Church."