Battling rising cost of living? Seeking a community? Try 'cohousing'

Not long ago, a story about a place and strategy called “The Llano Exit Strategy” made the rounds on social media, and people of a certain age nearly lost their minds.

A group of eight friends had purchased 10 acres of land along the Llano River in Texas and had an architect design four, eco-friendly tiny houses (350 square feet) that cost $40,000, along with a communal area that includes a 1,500-square-foot kitchen. The internet dubbed the vacation spot Bestie Row as a place to live with those you love.

For many, though, the “Exit Strategy” looked like the answer to “Where to go next?” It is the question being asked not only by those inching toward retirement, but those looking to profit from the real estate boom, escape the ever-increasing cost of living, and shack up — separately — with a like-minded community of people: Cohousing.

Architect Charles Durrett has been advocating the cohousing lifestyle for years. He conducts workshops for those looking to establish communities where people live in smaller, private homes set close together around communal spaces. Neighbors share household items, meals, coordinate activities and make group decisions about how things run.

Durrett, a partner at the California firm McCamant & Durrett Architects, coined the phrase “cohousing” 30 years ago and until recently believed that only 1 percent of the population knew about the lifestyle. Of that group, only 2 percent, he said, want to take the plunge.

That has clearly changed, he said. “I’m busier than hell.”

Durrett sees cohousing as the solution not only to older people’s plans for the future, but also for young people planning families. To him, it’s an obvious exchange of housing stock: Older people downsizing into the tiny houses that young families have been squeezing into, and those families having the room to grow.

“It’s important to have a shuffle of housing stock,” Durrett said. “It’s not only a boon from a financial point of view, it’s a boon from a lifestyle point of view. The same household where you raised three kids is not the one you should retire in.

“It’s not about being unhoused,” he said. “It’s about being mishoused.”

For the past 12 years, Durrett has lived in a cohousing community in Nevada City, California, with 30 adults — 20 of them seniors — and 20 children.

But cohousing is not so much about the physical aspects of living — the size or design of the house.

“The ‘software’ necessary is people coming to the table believing in community and believing that their lives will be more fun, healthy and giving cooperation the benefit of the doubt,” he said. “That’s the only common denominator: People who believe their lives will be better if they will cooperate with their neighbors.”

In that sense, he said, “The community doesn’t choose the individuals. The individuals choose the community.”

Durrett’s community of 34 households shares one lawn mower, one swimming pool and one ski shack. Residents can even get part of a shared car with their house.

Research has shown that people live longer when they’re socially engaged.

But the social can turn to a bit of drama, especially when there’s a smaller pool of actors.

“I think that somebody would have a good time with a sitcom on cohousing,” Durrett said. “It’s not high drama. We take a lot of measures to figure out how to get along. The ones who age successfully are not too cranky and not too selfish or cantankerous.”

Cohousing can also change a person.

“It’s tempered me a lot,” Durrett said. “You have to try to get along. And that’s a great practice. It’s also given me an immense amount of optimism about society.”