A boyfriend ban at Thanksgiving?

DEAR AMY: Thanksgiving is soon upon us and I don't know how to handle a social situation that has arisen this year. My family is no longer small. I am a proud aunt and traditionally the hostess for this holiday meal. The little girls in our family have grown into wonderful adults and three of them are in love. They will want to bring their boyfriends, and I am not really ready to accept them at the family table. They seem like swell fellows but still, they're just boyfriends. When they are husbands I will happily invite them. But for now, I would like to keep the party for just family.

--Agonized Aunt

DEAR AUNT: My insight is affected by the memory of the parade of boyfriends my sisters and I brought to our family's Thanksgiving celebrations.

My cousins, the gracious hostesses of these dinners, welcomed each and every one of these boyfriends, no matter if they were marriage material.

In addition to other advantages, watching the way these prospective partners handled themselves in our family was a great way to assess their long-term prospects.

So I would encourage you to welcome them to your table.

DEAR AMY: I am responding to the letter from "Girlfriend," who wonders if a 15-year age difference in a relationship is too much. I was in my 20s when I met a wonderful older man. He is 16 years older. Now I am in my 50s and have a lot of regrets. We got married and had a good time until about eight years ago. He can no longer dance because of bad knees. He needs to be in bed early. He wants me to stay home, cook and clean. I am alive and well. And I won't be retiring for a long time.

--Sad

DEAR SAD: This scenario is exactly what people warn about with extreme age differentials. But the heart wants what it wants -- and has no respect for calendars.