A good man, and woman, is hard to find

DEAR SUSAN: I recall the original letter from a woman regretting in her 30s her rejection of some really good guys in her 20s. As I recall, the letter suggested to me that she might have realized her rejections were not so gentle as they could have been. Thus, karma has now set in. As to your point, Susan, about the alleged contradiction in the letter from "Single by Choice," yes, you have forever pitched gender reconciliation, but you also wrote (not too long ago) that "any woman worth her lip gloss knows that a good man is hard to find." Is this not a contradiction also?

On the one hand, you continually preach that genders are neither opposite nor enemies. On the other, that "lip gloss" quote seems to suggest there aren't enough good men out there to make gender reconciliation a reality.

You can't have it both ways. I believe that for you to make a comment like that means the acrimony between the sexes is too far gone to ever be reconciled, and (I believe) you now realize deep down that gender reconciliation is more a fantasy than you will publicly admit.

From the Single File blog

DEAR BLOGGER:Lip gloss is meant to enhance, not stir controversy and confusion. Yet that one remark about a good man's being hard to find is still reverberating its shock waves. And for the life of me, I cannot fathom the reason.

A good woman is equally as difficult to find, the way I see it. In my experience, the person who can touch your soul is a rare being, male or female. And aware that I can at times be too serious, lip gloss and a good man were put into the mix of words. Not as an anti-male gibe, but as leavening. To lighten my too-serious bent. Nothing more.

That one remark has gotten me more negative reaction than any other. Well, almost any other. The zinger of all time has to be the reaction to my thought that "sometimes men can be better mothers." Imagine the mail -- e- and snail -- those words inspired!

But the lip gloss remark will go down in the "Single File" annals as pretty darn close to it.

So let's make up and agree to disagree at times. But make no mistake: I firmly believe the sexes will in time reconcile and come around to the wisdom that friendship is at the heart of romance.

And men and women will finally realize that friends make the best lovers. That I believe.