A husband's chance to move on

DEAR AMY: A friend and his wife have been married for 28 years. The last 10 years have been empty. His wife quit her job a year ago and will not look for work. My friend has been struggling doing two jobs to pay the bills, and his wife will not look for a job. She spends her days sleeping and her nights on the Internet. Their savings are gone. My friend has a great offer for an out-of-state job Mondays through Fridays, which will pay well. He could come home on weekends. He asked his wife if she would come there one or two weekends a month so he wouldn't be on the road as much, but she said no. Should he take this job and continue to support, feed and house her in their loveless marriage or face the fear of being on his own?

--Frustrated Friend

DEAR FRIEND: Your friend should take this new job and use it as an opportunity to further his career. His wife's refusal to join him is telling. She doesn't sound willing to be a contributing, supportive or present partner. Living on his own might be lonely, but he sounds lonely as it is. Taking this out-of-town job will illuminate his choice.

DEAR AMY: I'd like to weigh in on the debate about keeping diaries that might contain distressing information or opinions. As a historian who has written books relying in part on diaries kept by women and men in the 18th century, I plead with your readers not just to preserve such valuable documents but also to ensure that the originals are eventually given to libraries. Most libraries will make archival-quality copies and return the originals. A century from now, those nasty comments about a diarist's relatives will mean little or nothing to historians. But the accounts of life in 20th century America will be invaluable.

--Historian, Cornell University

DEAR HISTORIAN: I'm busy redacting.