A relationship that's all take and no give

DEAR AMY: I'm a 50-year-old man and I find myself lost in a difficult situation. I would like your unbiased opinion. I've been dating a 50-year-old woman for almost four months now. I am always the one to ask for dates, and she never offers to help defray any expenses when we go out. I make more money than she does, and don't expect her to meet me anywhere near 50/50, but it would be very nice to have her cook me dinner once in a while, or take me to the movies occasionally, or show some small investment. I have mentioned it, but there has not been any movement at all toward reciprocating. I feel unimportant as a result. What are your thoughts?Mike

DEAR MIKE: Your date is enjoying herself enough to accompany you -- as long as you make all the plans, do all the work and pick up the check.

I bet you could find a whole lot of people who would happily accompany you for all-

expenses-paid outings -- so her willingness to show up doesn't exactly put her in special company.

If this woman were really into you, she would be so-o-o-o on it. She would demonstrate that she is eager to spend time with you without you always asking first. If she couldn't afford to treat you to an occasional meal, she'd be baking big baskets of muffins and dropping them off on your porch.

Regardless of her actions or reactions, you have been a gentleman. You also have been honest about something that bothers you (good for you!) and she is disregarding it.

Most important, you feel devalued. When people are a good fit for each other, the dynamic is joyful, fun and one of mutual respect.

If you want to have a real relationship with someone, I'm afraid you'll have to look elsewhere.