Accept effeminate son as he is

There is no question that some children face more social challenges than others, but no one fits in everywhere, and your son is so fortunate -- because he is just like his dad! This should be seen as a good thing.

I sense from your anxiety over this that you have a problem with your son's (and by extension your husband's) affect. You really need to tackle your own anxiety, and wrestle it to the ground so you can be your son's best advocate.

If he doesn't enjoy sports, find other activities (like music, theater, art and academic clubs) that he can enjoy with other boys and girls who will appreciate and include him.

As he gets older, be very open to discussing his sexuality and social challenges, and focus on his special strengths -- and the strengths of your household -- to be who he is.

Your husband is the mystery factor in this family equation. He holds the key to accepting and celebrating this boy. He can offer his own perspective and answer his son's questions. He needs to step up.