Actions speak louder than arguments

DEAR AMY: My husband and I are having an argument and need an outside opinion. Maybe you can help. Here's the situation: We have lived in our current rental house for about eight months. There is a drawer in our kitchen that has - among other things - matches and batteries in it. We have a 19-month-old son who is able to open said drawer and get stuff out of it. My husband stays home and is the primary caretaker of our son while I am at work. My husband has admitted that he has had more opportunities to fix the situation because he is home more often. I have also admitted that I obviously do bear some responsibility because I also knew that it was a problem and until yesterday had never done anything about it. Our question is, who is more responsible for the fact that the drawer has (until yesterday) never been cleaned out and the dangerous items taken out of our son's reach?

--Wondering Mother

DEAR WONDERING: Sometimes when I'm out and about, people ask me if I make up letters that appear in my column.

And I always respond by saying, "Who can make this up?"

In the time it took you and your husband to bat this issue back and forth and then for you to sit down to e-mail me your query, your son could have ingested several batteries and learned to light his own cigarettes.

My point being: Both parents are equally responsible for removing dangers from Junior's reach.

Generally, whatever adult perceives the hazard first should act first.

Ask yourself: If your son were at a day care center or a relative's house, would you want his caregivers to argue over who is responsible for providing a child-safe environment? Or would you want someone to just take care of it?