Ask Amy: A way out of a problematic will

DEAR AMY: My wife's mother died recently. My wife and I (and her brother and his wife) are all professionals and well off. My wife's sister is a single mom and unemployed. My mother-in-law informed us years ago that she was leaving all her money to this sister because she needs it most. We were fine with that, but neither my wife nor her brother realized that they would basically be disinherited. She not only left the sister all her money, but she made her executor, gave her power of attorney and left her all the furniture, heirlooms, papers, keepsakes, clothes - everything! Everyone understands that my mother-in-law meant well, but I can't understand why she didn't anticipate how being left out completely from the will would hurt my wife and her brother. They are mad at their sister - who had read the will in advance - for not saying, "Mom, how about splitting the contents of the house among the three of us?" I am in the middle. I am a lawyer, so this sister is asking me for legal advice on how to manage her inheritance. She doesn't seem to get how upsetting this is to her siblings. Should I tell her or just try to help my wife through this difficult time?Lost Lawyer

DEAR LOST: You should not give your sister-in-law legal advice. You have a personal conflict here, so you should refer her to someone else.

Because she seems to trust you, you should say to her, "You know, no one begrudges your receiving money from 'Mom's' estate. We were aware of her wish to leave money to you and agreed with it. But your siblings would like some keepsakes, and in my mind the kind, generous and respectful thing to do would be to offer them some objects they can remember your mother by. Don't you think that's the right thing to do?" You know from your lawyering that asking a leading question at the end of a statement can sometimes elicit a positive response. It's worth a try.