Ask Amy: Behavior, not talk, shows a changed man

DEAR AMY: I need help on how to win my son's mother back. I have been very selfish. I guess I wasn't ready for everything that was coming at me when my girlfriend gave birth to our baby. I didn't realize how well she was treating me. I thought I needed space. I thought I needed to have fun while I was still young, but I ended up being a big jerk and making her feel worthless. I've been beating myself up for about eight months since our breakup, and I want to show her that she is my world and that I will never leave her again. I know I hurt her by leaving her alone with our newborn son. I just don't know how to show her how I feel or how to make her notice the change in me.

--Changed Man

DEAR CHANGED: I give you tons of credit for wanting to prove yourself, but don't focus too much on winning your son's mother back; that might put too much pressure on both of you.

Show your baby son and his mom the kind of man you have become by stepping up as a father.

You should meet your financial obligations toward your son (if you don't already) and spend as much time with him as possible.

Apologize to your ex by writing her and your son a letter in which you promise to be the kind of man they deserve to have in their lives.

You can prove yourself in many ways, large and small. You don't have to shower your baby with gifts or toys - but give him big doses of love and affection, and plenty of you.

Let your son's mom help you to be the best father possible by showing you how to take care of him. Ask for her help to be a great parent and follow her lead; she'll respect you for that.

Your actions will speak for themselves, and if your ex is smart she will be watching you closely.