Ask Amy: Finding it hard to root for cougars

DEAR AMY: Am I the only one disturbed by the trend of "cougars"? I am a 40-year-old male, and, growing up, I was taught (mostly by women) that men who chased women 20 years younger were "dirty old men" with "arrested development" and that they looked ridiculous and childish. But now it seems that when women do it, it's "empowering." Everywhere I look there are articles about how wonderful cougars are. The first time I heard this term was on the "Today" show. The host was talking to some self-confessed cougars who were saying how great it was that they had found this new and incredibly liberating lifestyle. At the end of the segment, they gave a Web address to a site that would tell you more, including where to find the best "cougar bars" in your area. I went to that site, and it was full of lurid stories about wives cheating on their husbands, going to fraternity houses, etc. Can you imagine the "Today" show advertising a site where older men could go to pick up college women?Disturbed

DEAR DISTURBED: To clarify, a "cougar" is a woman of a certain age who pursues (and catches) younger men.

Grrrrr!

I can imagine seeing many things on the "Today" show (including a segment on pole-dancing lemurs), but I agree with you, male cougars would definitely not be celebrated on the program.

I also agree that the notion of cougars is tacky, offensive, sexist and stupid.

I also happen to think that the cougar fad is an overreaction to the unfortunate reality that middle-age women have traditionally been (as my mother so eloquently put it) "invisible."

Real beauty and power don't fade. But I can only hope that the current fascination with and celebration of so-called cougars does.