DEAR AMY: My 15-year-old stepdaughter just moved in with us. The day she arrived, my husband told her, "Everything here is yours," in front of me. It bothered me that he did not make a point right off the bat for her to respect me. He denied saying anything wrong. What should I do?

--First Time Stepmom

 

DEAR STEPMOM: You need to relax and not look for problems. Problems will land in your lap soon enough.

Your husband should not have to demand that his daughter will respect you on her first day in your home. Both of you should anticipate being respected - and deal with issues on a case-by-case basis as they occur.

Being a stepmother to a teenage daughter is a tricky business. You have an opportunity to affect this young lady's life in a profound way, but your goal should be to befriend and defend her, to be her champion when she needs it and to always provide a positive role model.

Your husband is the girl's primary parent. You both should establish the ground rules and he should be in charge of implementing them.

Step-parenting has the potential to be hugely rewarding; please embrace it.

 

DEAR AMY: I'm responding to the letter from "Cranky Clerk," about what it's like to work retail during the holidays. I worked in retail at the corporate level and some of the customer complaints were so stupid. People would complain because someone was "too nice." They complained because their $1 coupon expired three months ago and the store wouldn't let them use it. Most of the complaints were legitimate, but when people call just to complain, or make up things and complain just to get free stuff, it gets tiresome. Every person in America should have to work retail at Christmas at least once in their lives.

--With Cranky

 

DEAR WITH: Great idea!

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