Ask Amy: Leave your physically abusive wife
DEAR AMY: I recently remarried after 16 years of a first marriage, which ended because of an act of infidelity by my former wife. I stayed in that marriage too long because of my love for my kids. My current wife and I have been married a little more than a year, and while I knew she had trust and self-esteem issues, I never imagined what I would have to endure. My wife is enormously jealous and accuses me of improprieties in our marriage, even though I have gone out of my way to show her how much I love her and that she can trust me. I have given her all my passwords to all my e-mail accounts and access to my company computer and cell phone. I call her all the time, especially when I travel on business, to show her I have nothing to hide and love her. Her jealously and distrust have turned to violent rage, and on several occasions she physically attacked me. One incident required the police, which led to her arrest due to injuries I suffered. A court order required her to attend an anger management program, but she has attacked me twice since. I never raised my hands to her. We attended counseling, but our problems have grown worse. I don't know what to do.Fearful HusbandDEAR FEARFUL: Leave this relationship immediately. You are being emotionally and physically abused, and you should leave for your own safety. If there are children in the house, get them out. Pack your documents and some clothing without your wife's knowledge, and stay with a friend. Get an order of protection; don't have any contact with your wife other than through a lawyer.
The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women has content specifically for men who are being abused. Don't "tough it out." Please check the organization's Web site: dahmw.org. Call the Helpline for further assistance: 888-743-5754.
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