Ask Amy: Talk frankly with boyfriend about antidepressants

DEAR AMY: I recently discovered that my boyfriend of six months is taking an antidepressant. I work in pharmaceuticals and have experience in this category. While I wasn't snooping (the prescription bottle was on his dresser in plain view), he may think I was snooping.

In the time we've been together, I've disclosed some very personal information to him. I feel we have established enough trust in the relationship that he should be comfortable enough to trust me and reciprocate. He has communicated his hopes and intentions; we've talked marriage and kids. Isn't this information he should share with someone he considers to be a future wife/

confidante/life partner? It has been on my mind, and I feel I need to confront him. Do I have a right to confront him, and, if so, how do I handle this? Obviously, it's a delicate matter. -- Dealing With a Dilemma

DEAR DILEMMA: The more delicate the matter, the more delicate the "confrontation" should be.

Your first mistake is to see this as a confrontation rather than a conversation.

You know from your experience with pharmaceuticals that it's no crime to take an antidepressant, and the good news is that if your guy has depression, he is treating it responsibly and (apparently) successfully.

If this bottle of medicine is in full view, then ask him about it.

Say, "Honey, isn't this an antidepressant? Is it for you?" If the bottle is not in sight, tell him you saw it and have been wondering about it.

If he accuses you of snooping, there will be another layer to this conversation.

You are correct in thinking that you and your guy should talk about all sorts of personal and intimate things - certainly if you are contemplating marriage. You must be open about your health issues and family histories.

So stop snooping and start talking.