Ask Amy, used by a nephew

Unless you want this money back, you are going to have to face the reality that your nephew is somewhat shameless and also possibly unreliable.

Make no assumptions. At some point you might receive a photo of his wonderful house, along with a check for repayment and/or a gracious thank you. Until that day, consider this donation a loss and also a lesson: When you give money to family members, you should gain the most pleasure from your own generosity -- otherwise it's a drawn-out exercise in frustration.

This is not a small matter. This is important.You two should work on this with the help of a marriage counselor. Otherwise, over time, your marriage itself will be compromised. I think it already is.