At 16, ready to tell folks about sex

DEAR AMY: My boyfriend and I have been in a loving relationship for a little over a year. We are both teenagers and above the age of consent in our state (I am 16). We are very much in love and incredibly happy. Recently we had a couple of serious conversations about sex, and we decided to go ahead and do it. It was the first time for both of us and was very special. We were safe and responsible, and neither of us has any regrets. However, my parents do not know that we are sexually active, and they do not seem to trust me to be safe and responsible about my decisions. I worry they would force us to break up. I would like to be able to talk to them about this, but I have no idea how to broach the subject, and frankly I'm scared of their reaction. Please tell me how I can talk to them and convince them that I am mature enough to handle this level of intimacy

--.Anonymous in New England

DEAR ANONYMOUS: According to the Guttmacher Institute, 7 of 10 American teens have had intercourse by age 19 and a sexually active teenager who doesn't use a contraceptive has a 90 percent chance of becoming pregnant within a year.

You should go to your physician or to Planned Parenthood for a checkup and STD and birth control counseling. If you're unable to go together, you should not be in a sexual relationship. Check

plannedparenthood.org or call 800-230-PLAN (7526) for a local clinic.

The reason your parents might not trust you is because they were your age once and they know how physically and emotionally vulnerable you both are. Your parents have the utmost stake in your emotional and physical health.

Your desire to talk to your folks about this tells me that you have a good relationship and simply want to be honest. Share this, but remember: Your honesty will inspire their honest reaction. They may be very upset. But if they are thoughtful, they will appreciate the opportunity to talk it through with you.