Bachelorette party expenses break bridesmaid's bank

DEAR AMY: I'm a bridesmaid for an old friend this summer, and she has chosen a three-day destination bachelorette party. She paid for her own air and hotel but expects her bridal party to pay for our costs and hers for the entire weekend, including all drinks, meals, transportation and shows. She nonchalantly mentioned getting bachelorette party gifts from us as well. I expected to buy her a gift and a drink here and there, but everything, all weekend? We're staying at a nice hotel in an expensive city, and it's getting out of control. Every time I open my inbox there's another e-mail suggesting another expensive activity. The other bridesmaids don't seem to agree with me that this is getting ridiculous (the e-mails are coming from them), but I don't make as much money as they do. So I have to know - am I the ridiculous one? What is typical destination bachelorette party etiquette?

--Broke Bridesmaid

DEAR BROKE: Destination bachelorette parties tax my limited etiquette expertise.

I do know quite a bit about being broke, however.

You are responsible for your own bank balance.

Because you've been sucked into something that has mushroomed into an event you can no longer afford, you face the unhappy task of deciding whether to pull the plug.

You should e-mail the entire bridal party and without passing judgment on their plans, say: "Here's what I can do. Here's what I can't do."

During the weekend, set a budget for yourself, stick to it and hope your fellow bridesmaids don't turn on you like a pack of drunken jackals.

And if you decide to chicken out, you may need to develop a last-minute communicable skin rash. Staying home, absorbing the ticket cost and watching the "Bridezilla" marathon on TV might be your best weekend bet.