Belatedly finding the answer he needed

DEAR AMY: A few years ago, I asked for your opinion of a situation in which I felt I was being wrongfully accused of being an alcoholic. I said I was a "beer drinker" of a six-pack (at most) a day. I said I was never an angry drunk nor did I ever cause any embarrassment to my family or myself. I am a good husband and father. I prepare most of our meals and do the majority of the housework because I work nights. I was looking for vindication from you because family members kept insisting I was an alcoholic, even though I could go days without drinking. I did not receive the response I had hoped. You agreed with my family and advised me to seek professional help. I didn't. Recently, during a medical checkup, I admitted to severe depression and a (weak) attempt at suicide. The doctor suggested psychological counseling. Several sessions later, I admitted that I am an alcoholic. With help, I have not had a drink in more than a month and really don't miss it. My depression is gone, and I have a joy I have not had for several years. I want to offer my belated thanks. I could have avoided much regret if I had heeded your advice at the time. I am also so grateful to my therapist for simply guiding my own thoughts and words to their obvious conclusions.

--Sober in Portland

DEAR SOBER: I often wonder what happens to people after they write to me. It's gratifying to learn that you've discovered the strength to face your problems with integrity to get (and stay) sober.

My only caution is that you are still in the early stages of recovery. You will have some tough times as a sober person. We all do. Live your sobriety one day at a time and let other people help you.

I don't have a crystal ball, but when the people who know you the best and love you the most think you have a problem, there's a high likelihood they're right. All I did was affirm that.

You did the rest.