Briefing teen's guest on vacation home etiquette

DEAR AMY: My husband and I have a teenage daughter. When we go on vacation, we always allow our daughter to bring a friend. The last two years we have taken beach vacations and stayed in a condominium.

We ask nothing of guests other than that they bring enough money to cover one meal a day and pay for their own towel- rental fee. We cover everything else. These last two vacations have been exhausting for me.

Both times my daughter's guest did very little, if anything, to help out. The guests left their dishes lying around, wet towels on the floor and basically acted as if I was their maid. I kept saying, "This is my vacation, too," but this fell on deaf ears.

Both of these girls are from financially comfortable families.

My spouse and I work multiple jobs to allow our child all the extras, vacations included. Neither girl reimbursed me for their towel rental, but that is such a small amount it no longer matters. What disappoints me is that neither of these girls formally thanked us.

I didn't expect a gift, but I feel that a handwritten thank-you card was in order. Am I wrong?Miffed Mom

DEAR MIFFED: When your daughter invites a friend to share the family vacation, she bears some responsibility for making sure her friend understands how to behave as part of your vacation household.

If the friend can't manage to pick up her towels, your daughter should convey, "Oh, my mom will absolutely freak out and make our lives miserable if we don't clean up after ourselves." Rather than letting people treat you like a maid and then blow your stack, you should good-naturedly lay the groundwork on the first night.

You say, "Everyone, this is my vacation, too."

You should be properly thanked for providing such a nice vacation for your daughter's guests, but you and your family should make sure they understand what's required to be considered good guests.