Busy teen needs firm limit on baby-sitting

DEAR AMY: I'm a senior in high school and am very busy trying to get into a good college. I have many activities at school. I have been baby-sitting for a family since I was in middle school. They have two children, and I enjoy being with them. Lately, however, the parents are putting a lot of pressure on me to baby-sit more and more. I am honored to be so close to these girls, but I am too overwhelmed with school and college to focus on playing with them every available moment. The parents pay well, but at this point I do not care about the money. I have started to say no and have been courteous, but the parents always ask me when I am free to come baby-sit, putting me in a position to come over even when I know I will regret it later. The parents have confronted me many times about why I am so busy. I have told them repeatedly that colleges continue to ask for my semester grades, as well as the continual participation of school and community activities. They seem to believe that I am purposely avoiding them. These remarks are hurtful. I am at the point where I would baby-sit for free for a whole Saturday just for them to not call me back for a couple of weeks. Any help in getting out from the constraints of this toxic relationship would be greatly appreciated.Already Preoccupied Senior

DEAR SENIOR: You are supposed to be in charge of your own life - and that means you will have to be firm with people who don't respect your situation or explanations.

Do not offer to baby-sit for free for this family. If you feel this relationship has become toxic, perhaps you shouldn't baby-sit for them at all.

Otherwise, you should establish a firm schedule. Tell them that from now until the end of school, you will be available only on certain days and times.

You don't have to offer any reasons or excuses about why you can't baby-sit - just say, "I'm sorry, I'm not available."