Can dad recoup part of grad gift?

DEAR AMY: For her high school graduation, I sent my daughter and her best friend (who lives next door) to Europe for a week. During the initial planning, the friend's father called me and offered to pay for lodging. He had a timeshare lined up in the city the girls would be visiting. At the last minute he found out that the girls had to be 21 and it fell through. I booked a hotel for the girls instead, which cost $1,200. His wife left a phone message that they were going to write me a check to cover part of this. It has been 90 days and I have not heard from them. The vibes suggest nothing is coming. It was a gift to my daughter and I was fully prepared to pay for both girls. I prepared a friendly letter with the hotel invoice attached -- but I feel uncomfortable sending it. Money is so tight lately. What do you think I should do?Dear Old Dad

DEAR DAD: You gave a gift to your daughter and her best friend. The other girl's parents made some effort to mitigate the upfront cost to you but it didn't work out.

The time to try to collect on this would have been when you booked the hotel. At this point I think you should drop it. Your neighbors know they've said they would send you a check and they know they haven't sent it.

DEAR AMY: "Worried Mom to Be" had a mother-in-law who crossed boundaries as a grandparent. My husband and I actually told my husband's parents that if they weren't willing to respect our boundaries we would limit visits with the kids. It took us leaving a family gathering early for them to take us seriously. We did it early on and things were great after that. It strengthened our 26-year marriage. We are happy and have four great kids who can think for themselves. Been There

DEAR BEEN THERE: Establishing boundaries (and enforcing them) is the way to go.