Co-worker's chatting, treats annoy

DEAR AMY: I work in a small office with one other woman. She is a very nice person, has a great sense of humor and for the most part we get along really well, except for when we are actually working. There are two main problems with working with her. One is that she is extremely chatty and is always trying to talk to me -- about the weather, her personal life, our clients, etc. I have told her on a few occasions to please not talk to me right now because I am busy. She will leave me alone for about an hour, and then start up again. The second problem is that she is constantly bringing in food for me. This is a very nice gesture, but the snacks she brings are always very fatty and high in sugar -- things I wouldn't normally eat. I don't want to be rude to her, but how do I tell this woman to stop bringing me doughnuts and cookies without hurting her feelings?

Worried Co-worker

DEAR WORRIED: This would be easier on both of you if you could behave toward your co-worker the way you would want to be treated.

Be friendly but firm.

Tell her, "You are so nice to bring in snacks, but I really can't eat doughnuts." You could reciprocate by bringing in something to share with her.

The same goes for talking. She is crossing a boundary and you will simply have to continue to kindly remind her about the boundary until she recognizes and respects it.

DEAR AMY: "Sick of Wedding Excess" stated her complete disdain for her niece's wedding and then proceeded to give the couple a gift I suspect she knew they wouldn't want. Your answer was priceless. Thanking her would have spared everyone the sound of her self-

righteous whining about their over-the-top wedding.

A FanDEAR FAN: The question was about expressing gratitude. And the answer to that question is always yes.