Coming on too strong with a Facebook match

DEAR AMY: A week ago, I got "matched" with a guy over Facebook (through a friend). I was told that I'm his type, and he's definitely mine. We are both 19. We have messaged each other over Facebook almost every day for a week. He only messages me once a day, and it's usually only a few lines, so our conversation hasn't expanded as quickly as I want it to. I asked him for his phone number. He ignored the question, but later on I gave him my number. He then replied, saying he didn't want to swap numbers until he knew me better, but if we don't talk, how can this happen? A day later, we had a longer exchange, but nothing has gone further than boring stuff like, "What do you do for work?" I feel we have a connection, but it's not shining through enough (or at least not fast enough) for him to keep an interest in me. Sometimes, I feel like I begin everything. Do you think I'm overreacting? Do I need to make a different move to get things going? --Eager

DEAR EAGER: My recommendation is for you to shove a little of your "cray cray" back in the bottle.

You are coming on way too strong. This guy is being honest with you, and you are responding by pouring on more pressure. Not smart.

You need to follow his lead and step away from Facebook long enough for him to wonder where you are.

This is an opportunity to reflect on your own behavior. Read "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo (Gallery, 2009), or watch the movie of the same name.

DEAR AMY: You recently published my letter in your column. I am "Female Football Fan," who wondered how to deal with a guy tailgating with our group. (He sent a group email announcing that he had been unfaithful to his wife for years because of his "high testosterone" and that he was divorcing her.) We had our first tailgate last

Saturday, and it turns out Mr. Testosterone has been uninvited by his friend who brought him into the group. I wasn't the only one offended by the "too much information" email. Our picnic tables will be free of pond scum. But if I do cross paths with "Mr. T" in the stadium, I'll ask to be removed from his email list. --Football Fan

DEAR FAN: Your letter about Mr. Testosterone generated a lively response, and I'm delighted to hear back from you and to learn that this matter was settled so appropriately.